10/02/2023
It's with great sadness that my beloved mother, grandmother to my son, 1st wife to my father, favorite mother in law to my husband, has passed away due to her alzheimers and dementia disease. No words can express the sadness I feel. She is survived by her 3 sisters, 2 brothers, nephews, nieces and grandchildren.
Many know how hard mentally and challenging this disease can affect not only the ones we love but our family lives as well. Quickly you must adapt to their world and to the constant changes it brings. I was brought up with family first values, no matter what. When mom was diagnosed, many changes were made to put her needs first. No sacrifice was spared, from taking her to see her mom one last time in Puerto Rico, to making sure she had constant care. So I will begin for thanking my father first.
Karma in a good way came back around. Once it got to the point my mom could not live by herself, my father quit his job and began being a full time caregiver for my mom. There are not enough words to express how thankful I was for his help, while I began the process to sell the bakery that my mom began 27 years ago to finally help in her care, so we could do it together. Well things surely changed quickly.
As a family, I though that my mother's 2 sons, Carlos (Danny) Olivencia, educated in management and Jose Olivencia, a retired Naval Chief, whom she sacrificed a lot for and gave her unconditional love would share the burden of her care. Sadly, I was wrong. There is nothing you can say to make me understand how you failed mom. When she needed you the most, you gave excuse after excuse of why you could not.
I'm bitter, mad, and devastated, that both of you chose that path. Not only you, but your spouses. How can they stand by the two of you, who showed no heart, love or compassion for their mother? It says a lot. So my father and I made another decision to move my mom to Oregon, where both could be with my husband's family n lots of support. Well, surely I thought her sons would at least call my dad, ask about mom, send her a birthday card, mother day flowers, touch basis if my father needed any support. Once again nothing from both of you.
So glad mom disease made her not aware, understand or comprehend why you both were not there. Now it's too late, YOU BOTH will never get to say goodbye, ask for forgiveness, give her one last kiss, hug or hold her hand. I hope you ask for your own forgiveness when your time comes, and I pray you don't ever get the same treatment from your children.
Secondly, I want to thank the Alzheimers Association. On Thanksgiving day 2020, when I called to wish my mom n dad a Happy Thanksgiving, my father broke down crying because my mother's sons were not helping and he was overwhelmed. I had already become a member of the Alzheimers support group and called the hot-line. They immediately jumped into action, giving my information to caregivers that would call me to set up additional care. Within 1 hour, and on Thanksgiving day, I had 3 of 4 caregivers call me and reassure me, that they could help. Within 48 hours, we had an additional caregiver signed up to alleviate the overwhelming responsibility of caring for my mom with this horrible disease.
Yes people who I did not know took time on Thanksgiving to answer my questions and put a plan to action. I will never forget. Its my mission now to help wherever I can, others like what my mom has gone through.
Third, I want to thank my husband whom has made so many sacrifices. He has supported me working with my mom, putting up with my long hours, and him taking over the cooking, shopping, n cleaning. I'm so thankful and blessed that he stands by my side.
Lastly, to Nicole and Laura who are like sisters. God put them in my path. They have jumped Into action always when I needed to leave for an emergency or give my dad a break. They went above and beyond, no questions asked, even with their other commitments. They made the situation less stressful while running the bakery and my clients. Both of you hold a special place in my heart. I appreciate your support thru my tears and my fears. We are sisters for life.
In conclusion, I celebrate my mom's life. She was so kind, caring, responsible and hard working. Born in Corozal, Puerto Rico in 1943. In 1979, my dad was offered a job in California and we settled in San Jose for 39 years. She retired from Los Gatos Community Hospital, Housekeeping department after 20 years to pursue her baking passion. We partnered together to create a successful bakery here in the bay area. She truly loved baking and the all the customers that stopped at her store. Her talent allowed us to work with top high tech companies for some unbelievable events. Mom, you will be missed but never forgotten. I am strong, independent, and sassy because of you. Thank you for teaching me values and tools to go on without you. You are now with Abuela and Abuelo, kiss them for me. Your sisters will surely miss you, Rest in peace mom, mi belleza.
