05/15/2026
⚠️ Reports are coming in from Putnam Valley Market of dangerously fresh sourdough on the premises.
Witnesses describe:
🥖 crackly crusts
🥖 warm, bakery-fresh aroma
🥖 uncontrollable butter application
🥖 people “just grabbing one” and somehow leaving with three
Today’s loaves were baked fresh THIS MORNING and quantities are very limited. Once the shelves are cleared, that’s it until the next bake.
We cannot legally guarantee happiness… but we can strongly suggest grabbing a loaf before your neighbor does. 👀🔥