The Bagel Pit

08/11/2026

Just had the most debilitating dream about ye ole Bagel Pit. Mannnnnnnn. At least our business model still holds up after all these years. Friendly reminder the torch was NOT passed down though. Like for real not even a lil bit I promise.

08/08/2026

For many of us, emotional suppression did not end when childhood ended. It simply became harder to recognize.

It may show up as laughing while talking about something painful, changing the subject when a conversation becomes vulnerable, or feeling embarrassed after opening up. It can look like helping everyone else while quietly resenting that no one notices you need help too. It can also appear as exhaustion, irritability, numbness, anxiety, or suddenly feeling overwhelmed by emotions you have been holding in for years.

When a child repeatedly learns that emotions create conflict, disappointment, criticism, or rejection, the nervous system begins to treat vulnerability like danger. Hiding becomes a form of protection. Staying composed becomes a way to preserve connection. Being “easy” becomes a way to avoid losing love.

The problem is that emotions do not disappear simply because they are not expressed. They often move inward. Sadness can become numbness. Anger can become self-blame. Fear can become overthinking. Unmet needs can become resentment, burnout, or the belief that no one will ever truly understand you.

Healing begins by creating a different experience.

It is noticing what you feel before immediately dismissing it.

It is allowing yourself to say, “I am hurt,” without apologizing for it.

It is learning that anger can protect your boundaries, sadness can ask for comfort, and fear can reveal where you need safety.

It is choosing people who do not punish honesty, withdraw affection, or make you regret being vulnerable.

And sometimes, it is grieving how long you had to carry everything alone.

You do not need to become less emotional to heal.

You need enough safety to stop abandoning yourself whenever an emotion appears.

🤍 I Didn’t Choose to Be Born explores emotional neglect, survival patterns, and the work of learning to feel safe within yourself. Chasing Love That Hurts explains how those early wounds may later shape attachment, limerence, and the relationships you struggle to leave.

Both books are available through the link in my bio.

07/31/2026

The next Book Swap is coming!

07/31/2026

Oops

One of the most painful experiences in a dysfunctional family is discovering that the person who speaks the truth often becomes the problem.

Instead of asking, “Why is this happening?” the family begins asking, “Why are you causing problems?”

In many dysfunctional families, protecting the family image becomes more important than addressing unhealthy behaviour.

So the person who speaks up may become the scapegoat.

They may be criticised behind their back, triangulated, or portrayed to relatives and family friends as the difficult one.

Over time, this can make you question yourself.

“Maybe I really am the problem.”

But being blamed does not mean you caused the dysfunction.

Sometimes it means you were the first person willing to acknowledge that something wasn’t healthy.

Healing begins when you stop defining yourself by the role your family assigned to you.

You were never meant to carry the blame for problems you didn’t create.

📖 I Didn’t Choose to Be Born explores how dysfunctional family dynamics shape our self-worth, relationships, and identity and how we can begin to heal.

📖 Chasing Love That Hurts explores how those same childhood experiences can influence the relationships we choose as adults.

Both books are available through the link in my bio. 🤍

07/24/2026

Ooopsie

07/24/2026

07/17/2026

https://youtube.com/ 🤍

07/17/2026