10/04/2026
One year ago.
One year ago today, I was experiencing one of the most unenjoyable days of my life. I got rolled back to the OR for my brain surgery with the whole crew that would be in the surgery room for the procedure, laughing and smiling and truly just chillinā. It took a little extra sedation to knock me out (gingers know all too well), and next thing I knew, I was in an ICU room hooked up to all the things. The first thing I remember is, before even opening my eyes, the nurse coming in and telling me I had meds to take, to which I said āOh f***ā without even opening my eyes (which my dad promptly scolded me for š). The pain was unimaginable, and because I suddenly had all this CSF flow that I never had before, even a centimeter of head movement was unbearable. The pressure inside my head was like nothing I could ever describe. I spent the first 24 hours completely flat, dreading having to alternate sides I was laying on because it was so painful to move. I was knocked out most of the time and donāt remember a ton of the first 24 hoursā¦but I surely remember enough! My face was puffy, I had bruises on my forehead from the vice that holds your head in place during surgery, and I kind of felt like I was going to die, but I was very hopeful for what life could be like after recovery. There are so many stories I could tell about those three days, but Iāll save everyone the trouble. š
Iāve shared plenty how much better life is since having surgery. I never expected life to become even half of what it is these days thanks to Dr. Holly Gilmer and Henry Ford St. John. She saved my life in so many ways, including finding and fixing additional unexpected rare findings while inside my head, and I will share my experience time and time again if it helps anyone else (which it has already proven to do so!). I am so grateful for my life today and everyone who has been a key component of this journey for the last few years. There are so many friends, family, and more that helped along the way, and I will never take that for granted. It was a very ugly journey from 2023-2026, but I never lacked in support. From going to appointments with me, letting me call and have a breakdown on the phone when I suddenly started crying standing in the middle of the kitchen by myself, sending me uplifting messages, finding ways to make light and find joy through the worst of it, and reminding me that Iām not crazy and not to give up when I had, I will never take the love and support for granted. I am genuinely eternally indebted so many of you. I love you all so much. ā„ļø
And also a big middle finger to the countless providers who made me out to be the wrong one the whole timeā¦turns out I knew what I was talking about šš
Enjoy some throwback pics from the hospital. The day of surgery was rough (and so were the next two days), but we still found ways to have a little fun. š
