Twisted Treats and Sinless Sweets

09/02/2026

🖤 THE BAKERY LIVES AGAIN! 🖤

After a few days of my brain apparently attempting its own hostile takeover, I am SO excited to say WE WILL BE OPEN TOMORROW! 🙌

I truly cannot thank you all enough for your patience, kindness, messages, prayers, and understanding while I dealt with this migraine. I’m incredibly grateful to have customers who don’t just feel like customers anymore—you’ve become friends, and the amount of genuine care you’ve shown me means more than I could ever put into words. 🖤

We have missed your faces dearly, and I promise we’re coming back swinging.

The cases will be LOADED tomorrow to make up for our unexpected little disappearance. Consider it my peace offering for temporarily abandoning you to a cruel, dessertless existence. 😂🖤

🌯 LUNCH TOMORROW: CHICKEN BACON RANCH EGG ROLLS! 🌯

Crispy golden egg rolls stuffed with chicken, smoky bacon, and all that creamy ranch goodness. Because apparently the appropriate way to celebrate my return to the land of the living is to put chicken bacon ranch inside an egg roll. I stand by this decision.

⏰ Please pre-order lunch by 9:30 AM!

Thank you again for giving me the time I needed to recover and for caring about the human behind the bakery counter just as much as you care about what’s inside the cases.

We’ve missed you. We love you. And we cannot WAIT to see you tomorrow. 🖤

Now… back to the kitchen. We have some making up to do. 😈🧁

09/02/2026

Although we are closed today, we will not be closed tomorrow. I just wanted to let everybody know that we are in here and we are baking and we will absolutely be open tomorrow at 7 AM. Thank you guys for your patience and for allowing me the time to start to feel better. We’ve missed you all very much and we will be very happy to be opening tomorrow. See you all then!!

09/02/2026

So…. I had made this post at 4AM, and am just now realizing it never posted….

🖤 The Migraine Has Apparently Chosen Violence… Again. 🖤

Unfortunately, the migraine persists, so we will be CLOSED for one more day today. 😭💀

I am SO sorry, you guys. I truly hate being closed, but apparently my skull has become a hostile work environment.

I’m giving myself one more day to rest, hide from all forms of light like a crypt creature, and hopefully evict this demon for good.

Thank you for all the sweet messages, prayers, positive thoughts, and happy juju. 🖤 I appreciate your patience more than you know.

Hopefully tomorrow we rise from the dead. 🤞🏻💀🖤

09/01/2026

09/01/2026

🥀 A Mournful Notice from the Bakery 🥀
This morning, beneath a sky as cheerless as the grave, a most wretched affliction has claimed your humble baker.
The ovens sit cold.
The dough shall not rise.
No sweet confection shall emerge from the darkness.
For I have been struck down by a vile and merciless plague—perhaps temporary, perhaps the beginning of my slow and inevitable descent into the abyss. Only time, strong medicine, and an unreasonable amount of sleep shall tell.
Thus, the bakery doors shall remain locked and lifeless today.
Do not knock.
Do not peer through the windows.
Should you hear coughing from within… simply continue on your way.
If fate permits, I shall rise again and return to the ovens.
Until then—
There shall be no bread.
There shall be no cake.
There shall be only sorrow. 🕯️🖤

09/01/2026

🖤 Well… apparently the migraine chose violence. 🖤

I was really hoping I’d wake up this morning feeling better and be able to get myself into the bakery bright and early to get everything ready for you guys… but unfortunately, the exact opposite happened.

The migraine I was fighting yesterday has only gotten worse, and as much as I absolutely HATE doing this, we will not be opening today. 😭

I am so, so sorry. I know some of you were looking forward to those Italian Sliders, and trust me—I was looking forward to feeding you. But my brain has apparently decided that today’s special is darkness, silence, and absolutely no functioning whatsoever. 💀

I hate closing unexpectedly. I hate disappointing you guys. And I especially hate that my head has staged a tiny, violent coup and won.

So today I’m going to surrender, crawl back into the darkness like the little bakery crypt keeper I apparently am, and hopefully give this migraine what it needs to finally pack its bags and leave.

Thank you guys endlessly for being so understanding when life—and occasionally my own nervous system—throws a wrench into the plans. 🖤

We will be CLOSED today, Tuesday, September 1st.

I’m incredibly sorry, and I appreciate you all more than you know. ❤️

Send caffeine, darkness, positive juju, prayers, exorcisms… whatever you’ve got. At this point, we’re accepting all forms of migraine eviction.

Send a message to learn more

09/01/2026

🖤 HELLO, YOU WONDERFUL PEOPLE… A LITTLE UPDATE FROM THE CRYPT 🖤

The PLAN is to be at the bakery bright and early tomorrow, slinging sweets and serving up Italian Sliders for lunch. 🤌🥪
However… my head has apparently decided it would like to stage a small but extremely violent rebellion. 😵‍💫 I’ve been fighting a pretty wicked migraine for the past few hours, and currently it seems very committed to ruining everyone’s plans.

I’m hoping that as the evening goes on, it packs its tiny migraine suitcase, crawls back into whatever circle of hell it came from, and leaves me alone. 😂🤞

If it subsides, we’ll be OPEN tomorrow as planned, and I’ll be there bright and early getting everything ready for you lovely humans.

If this thing chooses violence and refuses to release me from its clutches, unfortunately we will have to stay closed tomorrow. I’ll keep everyone updated as soon as I know for sure.

So please send all the fingers crossed, positive thoughts, prayers, good vibes, happy juju, migraine-exorcising energy, sacrificial offerings to the headache gods, etc. that you’ve got. 😂🖤

Hopefully I’ll see your beautiful faces tomorrow—with Italian Sliders waiting for you. ❤️❤️❤️

Until then, I’m going to go lie in the dark and negotiate with my skull. 💀

08/28/2026

🖤💀 SOLD. OUT. 💀🖤

And just like that… the cases have been picked clean. Not a crumb left to identify the victims. No survivors. No witnesses. Just a few suspicious smears of frosting and the faint memory of cheesecake. 😂⚰️

You all absolutely demolished us this week, and honestly, we wouldn’t want to go out any other way.

Friday is officially wrapped, the bakery battlefield is being cleaned up, and we’re heading into the weekend tired, grateful, slightly unhinged, and already plotting what delicious little abominations we’re going to create for you next week. 🧁🔪

Thank you for showing up.
Thank you for stocking up.
Thank you for continuing to trust us with your sweet tooth, your protein goals, your lunch cravings, and apparently your complete inability to leave a cheesecake defenseless. 😂

Every order, every visit, every share, every recommendation, and every person who walks through our door keeps this weird little bakery dream alive — and we are endlessly grateful for it. 🖤

Now go forth into the weekend with your stockpiles.

Ration wisely.
Or eat everything tonight while standing in front of the refrigerator like a little dessert goblin.

We don’t judge. We understand. 😂

Have a safe, wonderful, and sufficiently snack-filled weekend, you beautiful bunch of enablers.

We’ll see you next week when we resurrect the cases and begin the madness all over again. 🪦🖤

SOLD OUT. END OF WEEK. WE LOVE YOU GUYS.

08/28/2026

Lunch is READY!!!!

08/28/2026

🖤 FRIDAY HAS RISEN FROM THE GRAVE — AND THE CASES ARE LOADED. 🖤

We have clawed our way to the end of another week, which means it is officially STOCK UP FOR THE WEEKEND DAY. 💀

Because nothing ruins a perfectly good Saturday faster than opening the fridge and realizing you ate your last cheesecake at 9:47 Friday night. That’s not poor planning. That’s a tragedy. A preventable one.

And today? The cases are absolutely overflowing. Cheesecake. Mousse. Croissants. Cakes. Cookies. Breakfast. Enough protein to make your gym membership feel vaguely threatened.

⚰️ TODAY’S BEAUTIFULLY UNHINGED LINEUP:

🥜 SF/GF Peanut Butter Brownie Bottom Cheesecake — 34g protein
A rich brownie bottom buried beneath creamy peanut butter cheesecake. Thirty-four grams of protein, because apparently cheesecake has entered its bodybuilding era.

🌈 SUGAR Fruity Pebbles Cheesecake — 30g protein
⚠️ YES. YOU READ THAT CORRECTLY. THIS ONE HAS SUGAR. ⚠️
A rare little visitor from the other side. Fruity, nostalgic, colorful, and absolutely covered in childhood cereal chaos. We let sugar into the building for this one. Please remain calm. 😂

🍫 SF Tuxedo Cake — 20g protein
Layers of chocolate decadence dressed formally for its own funeral. Sophisticated. Dramatic. Moist. Basically the Wednesday Addams of cake.

🥐 SF Vanilla Bean Stuffed Croissant — 20g protein
Flaky, buttery layers stuffed with dreamy vanilla bean cream. She’s delicate. She’s elegant. She’s going to leave crumbs all over your shirt and feel zero remorse.

🫐 SF/GF Blueberry Mousse — 14g protein
Light, creamy blueberry goodness that practically dissolves on your tongue.

🍋 SF/GF Lemon Mousse — 12g protein
Bright, tart, creamy, and just acidic enough to remind you that happiness is temporary. 🖤

🫐 SF/GF Blueberry Mousse Cup — 20g protein
More blueberry. More mousse. More protein. Bigger commitment. We respect it.

🍍 SF Pineapple Upside Down Cake — 20g protein
Sweet pineapple, tender cake, and all the retro dessert energy your grandmother’s kitchen could summon—just without the sugar-induced séance afterward.

🎃 SF Pumpkin Coffee Cake — 20g protein
Yes, pumpkin has entered the chat. It’s almost September and we have absolutely no self-control. Warm spices, tender cake, crumbly goodness… autumn is slowly crawling from its crypt.

🥜 SF Nutter Butter Cookie — 24g protein
Twenty-four grams of protein disguised as a peanut butter cookie. Frankly, we don’t know who needs to hear this, but this counts as self-care.

☕ SF Coffee Cake — 22g protein
Soft, buttery, cinnamon-y perfection with enough protein to make eating cake for breakfast feel suspiciously responsible.

🍓 SF Strawberry Pop-Tart — 12g protein
Your childhood toaster pastry grew up, got its life together, started eating protein and somehow became hotter.

🫐 SF Blueberry Muffin — 20g protein
Soft, fluffy, loaded with blueberry goodness and perfectly acceptable breakfast behavior.

🥓 Bacon, Egg & Cheese Croissant Sandwich — 24g protein
Flaky croissant. Bacon. Egg. Cheese. Twenty-four grams of protein. No dark metaphor necessary. This thing speaks for itself.

🌶️ Bacon Cheddar Jalapeño Scone — 24g protein
Smoky bacon, sharp cheddar and a little jalapeño kick baked into one savory beast. It’s been summoned. Approach accordingly.

🪦 AND THEN THERE’S LUNCH…

🐷🥔 PULLED PORK STUFFED TWICE-BAKED POTATOES Ready at 11:30

A glorious baked potato gets its insides scooped out, turned into creamy twice-baked potato goodness, stuffed back into its former shell, and then LOADED WITH PULLED PORK.

It’s excessive.

It’s beautiful.

It’s what the potato would have wanted. 🥀

⚠️ LUNCH PRE-ORDERS ARE REQUIRED AND MUST BE IN BY 9:30 AM.
These have a history of disappearing at an alarming rate, so please don’t wait until lunch time and arrive with hope in your heart. We cannot resurrect potatoes. 😂

🖤 IT’S FRIDAY. STOCK. UP. 🖤

Grab breakfast. Grab dessert. Grab lunch. Grab tomorrow’s dessert. Grab Sunday’s emergency dessert.

Because Future You deserves better than standing in front of an empty refrigerator this weekend whispering:

“I should’ve bought two cheesecakes.”

💀 Happy Friday, you beautiful little snack goblins. Come empty these cases.