02/13/2026
While going through some saved stuff in Notes, trying to find a recipe, I came across this piece I wrote a few years ago. It’s a reminder that things don’t always go well in the kitchen, but life is more about those we love than our prowess in baking. I hope you enjoy it.
Funeral Pie, by Janice Tarbill
I’m a good pie baker. At least I was until today.
I saw on Facebook two days ago that a friend had died: a Godly, Christian man. We shared so many things: our faith, our love of music, and a small group where we laughed, ate, prayed, shared our funny stories and our cares. We also shared a love of pie. When I heard the news, I knew I needed to do something, so I asked, “What can I do?”
“Make pies.”, they said. “Bob and Helen loved your pies.”
Okay. I can do this!
Pie #1: Key Lime Pie. Perfect. Done.
Pie #2. Sweet Potato Pie. Okay.
First let me say that I I have never made this pie before. I’m from the North where Sweet Potato pies never quite ventured, at least in my neck of the woods.
So the filling was easy enough - baked the sweet potatoes and used a reliable recipe. Now I could focus on the easy part, what I do almost without thinking: the pastry.
Well, first I forgot to add the sugar. It needs sugar! But I decided to let it go. This crust is a blind baked crust. Still, not a problem. I’m good at this.
Okay, here’s a tip. Don’t change methods when you know the usual works just fine. After watching Mary Berry and Paul Hollywood on the Great British Baking Show use plastic wrap to line the pastry to hold the pie weights and saying it works just fine, I decided to try it. One word: DISASTER! The plastic shrank & actually melted onto the crimped edge in places. Yes...I tried to salvage it, but for the first time ever I fed pie crust to the disposal! Plastic wrap across the pond must be quite a different product!
Next I was out of shortening! What??? So, off to the store. Back home, I measured the wrong amount, right after I had started to measure out the wrong amount of flour.
What’s wrong with me? I’m all thumbs today and I’m not thinking straight. Against all odds, finally the ball of dough is in the fridge soon to be quality tested by my rolling pin.
Death is a strange thing and the effect it has can be jarring. After my mom died, many years ago, we were sitting at the kitchen table going through cards when my sister-in-law walked through the door. With her short, dark hair like mom’s I thought it was her for a second. The day my brother unexpectedly died is embedded in my memory like a movie you can never forget. I remember the phone call, what I was wearing, every word that came out of my other brother’s mouth over the phone. I remember how I spent the night - with friends listening to Jerry Seinfeld, which was odd, but somehow distracting and comforting. We all have our own coping mechanisms, I guess. Sometimes we have to laugh to keep from crying too much and thinking too much. The sorrow is just too intense and there has to be a release from the pressure. When I lost a cat to liver failure, I had to make pie for a customer. I came back from the vet after putting my beautiful cat, Baby, to sleep and made pie. It is therapy. It’s working with your hands and focusing on a task. It’s an escape and I think it’s perfectly fine to escape when death hits you.
People like Bob are hard to forget. They don’t come around much in life and when they do you expect they will always be there. But time moves on and takes it’s toll. Maybe that’s why I struggled with this pie. Everything seemed a little bit “off”. But in the end it will turn out right because even if we have to throw out a few crusts and start over, life is not just about the pie.
I’ll miss you, Bob...”Just sayin’”
