09/08/2024
I spent two years grieving not only the bakery and the very overwhelming three months of having a storefront but also my lost love for baking. A lot of people said a lot of things about my journey and failures without asking or seeing what happened behind the scenes mostly because it’s easier to smile and wave then tell the truth. The truth is I love to bake and I love this community. The truth is also that things got out of control very very quickly and the need was so much greater than I could have expected or prepare for. My goal was to make things I loved and enjoy the experience which happened occasionally but a lot of my time was spent having panic attacks or wiping away tears while pulling pans out of the oven. I wasn’t ready and I think now looking back it’s easier to say out loud a big busy storefront didn’t align with my dreams or abilities. Mostly the ability to say no. It’s hard to deny a request and idea or something someone needs especially when it would bring joy to a community. I should have said no more than I did. By the end things were so out of control and I was so numb from shock the only thing I wanted to do was hide. So I did. I couldn’t even walk down the baking aisle for months without crying. It’s been a weird two years navigating grief and forgiveness not only of the unfortunate things that happened to my bakery but also forgiving myself for the mistakes I made along the way. ALL of this big long rant is to say I’ve been baking again. I sleep now. I find joy in cookies again. Someday I want to bake for my community and make people smile again. Hopefully someday isn’t two more years away.
Thank you for always being here, for following this weird winding path, encouraging, supporting, and finding joy through food with me ❤️