08/29/2026
We are under investigation 🫣😂🙏
BUREAU OF CRUSHES: INVESTIGATION NO. 006
Subject: Maple bacon donuts from Havelock Donuts
The Bureau has received reports of a maple bacon donut in Havelock.
This is the sort of information that must be handled carefully.
A maple bacon donut is not trying to be sensible. It is not pretending to be breakfast in any responsible civic sense. It is sweet, salty, glazed, excessive, and very aware of what it is doing.
Which is, of course, the point.
Havelock Donuts has the best kind of local donut-shop feel: full cases, glorious apple fritters, cinnamon rolls, donut holes, maple bars, and some sexy new sour cream old fashioned donuts.
But the maple bacon donut deserves its own file.
Maple glaze. Bacon. Lovely dough. No mystery. No moral defence. Just the particular joy of something that should probably be shared and absolutely will not be.
The Bureau finds this crush highly credible.
Crush status: worth the drive.
