07/28/2024
This is a long one, but stay with me. I am about to type out one of those long winded food blog posts that I—and I’m sure all of us—normally navigate around by clicking “jump to recipe”. Feel free to scroll to the bottom if you want to know details about the cake; I swear I won’t be sad. But if you need a pick me up today, I promise it’s worth it. ♥️
I set out to make a cake for my soon to be sister in law as a warm welcome into our family and home last week, and ran into an old, mean friend of mine, otherwise known as Imposter Syndrome. It is an awful, awful thing. It’s that voice in your head that says “yes, but…” every time you set and hit a goal. It tells us we aren’t good enough, that we don’t deserve the things that we so often do, no matter what the facts are screaming. It makes us feel like the work we do is not good enough and never will be, no matter how much time or effort we volunteer from our daily lives into making something magical. Every person I know has felt it and been in its grasp and, more often than not, unnecessarily so.
Every step of the way, I felt like I wasn’t doing enough. Every creative person I know has hit this same big, scary wall at some point. This was the first order I had made in a while, and truthfully, it had zero stakes as far as practical concerns go. I was making a cake for a loved one, who had not asked me to do so, just because. But with each stroke of buttercream and each and every dash of edible glitter, that voice in my head was pushing me to find reasons it wouldn’t have been good enough. Reasons that I myself wasn’t good enough. I lovingly assembled and decorated the cake and felt like I was failing each step of the way. When I gave it to her, I told her repeatedly that I hoped she liked it and I was so sorry if it wasn’t up to par; she assured me that was definitely NOT going to be the case, and she seemed so absolutely sure that it made me feel like maybe that voice was wrong after all. I gave it to her during her bridal shower—a time where she and my brother were understandably very, VERY busy—and let her know that I would love any feedback that she had, and to let me know if there was anything wrong with it. After all, my inner monologue had told me so many times that I wasn’t going the distance, so of course they had to have something to report. Right?
About two days later, my phone blew up with texts from her and my brother, absolutely RAVING about the cake, and this very photo. They both thanked me and were so excited about the gift I’d given them. They sent me a photo of the cake with a huge chunk taken out where they’d been devouring it. My brother apologized that they hadn’t gotten a picture of the whole thing, even though I had forgotten to myself thanks to doubting what I was doing, but that they loved it and it was delicious. My brother sent me some pretty intense texts about how much he loved it. 😂
It was comical, sure, but also something so much more; it was undeniable proof that the voice, MY voice, had been completely wrong. It was the love for my family shining through the very thing I doubted was good enough. A reminder that because I had pushed through my doubts, someone’s life was just a bit better, even if only for as long as it took to eat those chunks of buttercream and crumbs, because of me. That I made a difference to someone.
Doubts and worries will always be there, in everything that you do. You will often question what you’re doing or that if you even know what you are doing in the first place. You will not think it is good enough. You will think there might be no point. But I am here to remind you to take that chance. Risk it! You may fail, and you may succeed, but no matter what happens, you DID IT! Your efforts will not go unnoticed by the ones that matter. You are worth all of the happiness that you put out into the world! If you fail, you will learn a lesson, and if you succeed, you will have made someone’s life and day better, or easier, even if just for a fleeting moment. And what is the point of life if not helping each other be a little bit happier every day?
You CAN do the thing, you deserve to do it, and you absolutely should. We need more kindness and happiness in the world. Let it start with you. ♥️
The cake was a lemon sour cream cake with strawberry reduction and white chocolate Swiss meringue buttercream, covered in as much pretty decor as I could muster. Because that mean voice deserved to be drowned out in pink glitter! Thanks you, as always, for coming along this journey with me. I hope you make someone smile today, or that they return the favor! Talk to you soon! ☀️🍋🍓🎂✨
