10/26/2024
To the friends I’ve made over the years, I dedicate these thoughts and feelings.
Being essentially forced to close my beloved café going on nearly 10 months now, I am often asked how I am doing. I usually respond with something like, “I’m in soul-searching mode”. I find it concise and accurate without going into the details. On a more humorous note, it also saves me some time, because honestly, most people don’t really want to know THAT much!
I was fortunate enough to have made a lot of friends over the 7 years of business. Not because I was anything special mind you. The environment I helped create allowed for the free expression of people’s innermost thoughts and feelings in a comfortable safe setting. I use the word “help”, because I recognized that this business in particular was greater than the sum of all its parts. I wanted to build a business that was different. I had the idea that if I perpetuated and fostered what is missing, lacking, and is good in society, at least from my point of view, I could satisfy and enrich my own curiosity of what life is really all about. A return to a simpler time. Being a sole proprietor afforded me the freedom to march to the beat of my own drum, sometimes to the displeasure of others, and I make no apologies for it. Yes, I can be a little direct sometimes, but in my defense, I was nearly always understood. My closest and dearest friends know that about me.
I was free to voice my opinions and I also welcomed differing opinions when they existed. I welcome good honest discourse. Rhapsody’s became a type of therapy for many people, myself included! I miss everyone, my customers, and my employees. I have had some amazing people around me through all this. When a chef needed to move on, sometimes they came back to help train my new chef. Two chefs come to mind in particular, Tee, and Kristie. Nate, a barista that wanted to help-out, volunteered to work for free! Obviously, I put him on the payroll. Bob, a customer who loaned me his car for a week while mine was in the shop! I mean, who does that? Steve, another customer, offered to pay me a monthly stipend to help keep me afloat. On two separate occasions I had an employee and also a customer bring their boyfriends in for me to meet. They wanted my opinion. When they asked me what I thought about them, one opinion was favorable while the other was not. The one that was favorable got married at my café! I’d be remiss not to mention the customers who sprang into action when I had a line out the door, the names Katheryn and Lynn come to mind; there were others.
It was also rewarding to spring into action when the community needed it. My good friend Dashe, also a former employee had a lot to do with community engagement. Once, when the locals banded together to help find a missing kid, we became a base camp for the volunteers. The kid was found days later, and by the way, she was fine.
Months after closing, I ran into Amy, one of my former baristas at the grocery store across the street. Amy asked me if I knew about the effort that some people around town wanted to start a GoFundMe page! Gee I thought, my customers miss me as much as I miss them! The gesture was precious and heartfelt, and it doesn’t make writing this dossier any easier, but I guess it’s good to get it out. Amy also told me I was the best boss ever, and that she wanted to work for me again!
I simply chose to focus on what people needed whether they knew it or not! In fact, I often joked about it. Other than an inviting atmosphere and a place to sit, it’s no secret, we all need dialogue, genuine communication between real people who allow themselves to be vulnerable when in the presence of the people who love them or care about them the most. It was also a place to make friends, we witnessed this quite often. Our chef dishes often became an ice breaker, both as a photo op and a talking point. At Rhapsody’s we also encouraged putting away our electronic devices while visiting. Whether people realize it or not, we really do need each other. How sad it is to see two lovely people, all dressed up on a date, texting? I swear if I had their cell number, I’d text them to ask them how their date was going! Worse, an entire family of six texting! We forget the simple things. It’s important to maintain a sense of humor in all this. Again, Rhapsody’s existed to remedy that!
People need each other whether they know it or not. We didn’t just serve coffee and crepes, we served the whole experience, a place to sit, take a breath, smell the coffee, and people watch! The names Pat and Dave come to mind, but there were many others. Our goal was to serve the top three things, the best coffee, the best food, and the best service. We made it more of a ritual for our tea drinkers, their own 20 ounce pot of tea, complete with a warming candle, china cup, and a demitasse spoon. Our staff was on a mission to strengthen and promote the good in each other and serve it with a smile. The experience was contagious. And I think finally, I made a difference. As I sit here out of work, and again lacking purpose, I’ve had a lot of time to reflect upon things, namely everything. I mean EVERYTHING!
I contemplated going back to work for a company, and my former life as an aerospace engineer, because I’m still being sought by headhunters. That was a miserable, unappreciated job. No, I’m not going back to that. I loved what I was doing at Rhapsody’s and somehow, I will reemerge, although I have to give it serious thought if it’s to be in Massachusetts. I love this country and the rich history around Massachusetts, but I think our founding fathers would be appalled of what it’s become.
When I first decided to open a café, I was slammed with obstacles. Inspections and inspectors seemingly came out of the woodwork, getting everything done delayed my open five and a half months. Meanwhile, I hired some of my future staff early to help me with odds and ends of getting ready to open. No, I won’t do that again! I decided then that I needed to write a book about all my experiences and decisions as I chipped away at the barriers. I learned early that there also doesn’t seem to be a “how to do it manual” out there to outline the steps. I built this business from scratch; I have a story to tell. I now know the steps and in what order to take them. So why don’t I write a manual? My experiences can help others, there will be an outline of the steps needed, but it will read like a war diary. The trials and tribulations of a coffee shop. Many of my customers are to this day chomping at the bit for me to reopen. It’s still my intention to reopen. I like to think I’m smarter and wiser now and I will be able to avoid much of the pitfalls.
I recall needing to update my plumbing and needing to pay to get my house trap removed. What the hell is a house trap? A house trap didn’t hurt anything, but it needed to be removed and a straight piece of pipe put in its place. There was also a bogus lawsuit that put me behind the eight ball right out of the gate, before I even opened my doors. Yeah, that was from one of the people I decided to hire early and to help me set things up. False accusations be damned, I needed to pay an attorney to defend myself. Tens of thousands of dollars later, he suggested I settle because it’s cheaper than fighting it. Are you kidding me? I could have done that without him. He said, Mike, it’s just a business decision.
There are always bottom-feeding attorneys out there who will take up a bogus or frivolous case! An attorney friend of mine, and trust me, I have only one attorney friend, and that was by happenstance. Anyway, she said this to me one day, it’s not the truth that matters, it’s leverage! What? Attorneys know this, while I did not. I actually thought truth and justice was actually “a thing” in this country. Silly me! Ironically, I blame the system and the bottom feeding attorney, more than I do the former employee. In my experience, attorneys don’t care about truth or justice, they just want to win and win quickly. Settling gets them both paid! By the way, most politicians were attorneys at some point. They crafted the system that we live in. It’s no wonder why this country is so screwed up!
This kind of justice can destroy a business. The free attorney doesn’t care about destroying a livelihood and putting other people out of work. I once asked an attorney how they sleep at night! Crickets. It’s wrong, it’s an injustice, but we must learn, understand it, and even forgive them for their weak character and lack of ethics.
The Commonwealth of Massachusetts cares little about truth or justice. Bottom feeding attorneys are allowed to run rampart. Later, I learned most business owners have had at least one lawsuit on the books. I believe fledgling businesses are more susceptible because they are blinded by dreams, optimism, and a belief in fair play. Then there is the bogus workers comp claim, a fall that no one heard, or saw, and happened days ago without saying it or reporting it to anyone. Yeah, that episode caused me to install cameras everywhere.
I could elaborate on each punch in the gut, slap in the face, but it wouldn’t make a difference, would it? I’m choosing not to go down that rabbit hole, you’ve heard enough! It’s certainly not my intentions to lay it all out in detail on how bad the commonwealth treated me, suffice it to say, they didn’t do me any favors as a small businessman.
Life is interesting. I’ve always viewed life, our existence, our purpose in it, is to learn. Our earthly existence is a sort of workbook, it’s a place to do our sums. Life needs to be cherished and never squandered. I trust God knows what he’s doing and so if I must bear some hardships, so be it! I view these as opportunities we must tweak, correct, and learn from. We need to reframe them, not view them as insurmountable obstacles, but simply speedbumps. Speedbumps simply make us slow down; they don’t stop us. Rolling over, giving in, or becoming compliant, or complacent, doesn’t come easy to me, it challenges my ability to forgive. When I see weakness in others, I see a quitter. I shouldn’t let it bother me , but it does. Wasted human potential is such a shame. Maybe all they really need is a good kick in the ass! As I've said, I’m also work in progress. I had a sign posted in my café and it got a lot of attention. It said, Hard Times Create Strong Men. Strong Men Create Good Times. Good Times Create Weak Men. Weak Men Create Hard Times.
I’ve never been confused about who and what I am. I believe I was raised well. I believe I had a great teacher; he wasn’t perfect by any means, he was my father. I understood the man. He taught me what it was to be a man, albeit it was from his point of view, but I saw the truth in it. I make no apologies for my flawed character because I believe we are all work-in-progress, so are you by the way. Again, God knows what he’s doing, and we are all here to learn.
Back to Rhapsody’s, I’ve been blessed with more genuine friends than I thought humanly possible. Those of you know who you are. Perhaps I’ve had more than my fair share of friends, but here we are! Oops, Did I just use the word “fair”? Yikes! This is one of my trigger words. Life isn’t fair, nor was it meant to be! Life isn’t supposed to be fair. We are dealt a hand, and we must play the hand we’ve got! My lessons differ from yours and yours differ from everyone else’s.
The after-hour conversations at Rhapsody’s with close friends were priceless. We talked about everything, and whenever we differed in opinion, we found value in each other’s point of view. These were deep profound thoughts, it was about whatever life throws at us, how we process it, make sense of it, and play our next hand. It was a rare treasure, and we all drew strength from each other. Everything is better with friends like these. There was also a generous supply of laughter amongst us. Sometimes we shared our taste in music and commented on an interesting podcast. Always something intriguing, and sometimes funny.
Beyond the behind the scenes of the inner workings of Rhapsody’s, there was love and I was happy to be a part of it. The love we had for each other was contagious, our customer base grew because they felt it too.
As a man, I finally made a difference! A lasting impression on others. Service before self. Without doubt I helped bring these good people together in a safe and cozy environment.
As the sole owner of Rhapsody’s, I was able to avoid and sustain the crap and distractions that was thrown at me. For strength, I drew upon the memories, circumstances, and the teachings of my late father, along with the thoughts and opinions of my closest and dearest friends.
It’s not whether you win or lose, but how you play the game. Now, where have you heard that before? Isn’t this what really matters? How do you want to be remembered? Ask yourself what kind of person you want to be. Back to playing the hand we’re dealt. Did I say “play?” Yes, “play”. Do you really think this is all real? Permit me to explain myself in greater detail. If our souls are indeed eternal, and I believe they are, then isn’t a life fought for others also a life worth living?
A man’s character counts for a lot. For a man, this means we must be truthful. We must do everything possible to keep our word, therefore we must promise things scarcely, and never on a whim because our word is our bond. These are simple things. One precious rule, especially in the wake of realizing we made a mistake, is to fix it! To remember, “It’s never too late to do the right thing.” These are words to live by.
Years ago, whilst pondering on the meaning and purpose of life, it came to me that we have immortal souls. Therefore, the meaning and purpose of life, in a spiritual sense, is evolution. We need problems because we need their gifts, and life would be boring without them.
So, as I try to reestablish myself, juggle my finance, guard my credit score, I’m faced with more obstacles than I ever thought possible. It hasn’t been easy. I’ve caught myself being less than the best version of myself simply because it felt good to fight, to mix it up a little, ok, well, maybe mix it up a lot!
God gave us the means to solve problems, to turn the page in our workbook. We must trust in God, but we must act, be decisive, use all our lessons and instincts and remain true to our character. There are other souls in this expressed reality, help them if you can, if they are ready, but do not interfere with their lessons. We also learn through others, there are time tested sayings that we can think of that support this viewpoint. There is a saying in mysticism that’s been etched into me, “When the student is ready, the master appears”. Again, we learn through others. If we crossed paths and became friends, it probably wasn’t an accident.
Let’s take a look at the world, and where we are in it, especially with respect to the home front. This country we call home. Politicians and lawyers are essentially the same thing, these people contribute nothing except to exude power over others. They enrich themselves off of the grievances and miseries of others, I have no kind words for them, they take freely from those who “contribute to” and they craft the laws that bind us. So my distain for politicians, and from whence they come, is based upon my personal observations. I also loath weakness in myself, and in others. To be weak, when confronted with obstacles is akin to giving up. I’m repulsed by quitters. We should never give up, so let’s just strike that from our lexicon and replace it with the phrase “we reserve the right to change our mind”.
We have a lot of programed faults in our system of living. We hear about “giving back”. We want successful people to give back. If we give back, doesn’t this mean we’ve taken from? Please let us replace that awful phrase with let’s “contribute to”. If there’s a war between the haves and the have nots, or “class warfare”, it’s because the politicians feed us this nonsense until we eventually believe it or want to believe it because it easier to find fault in others. Looking at this from a world view, let’s just say governments are not much different than turf wars and gangs. They exist by our good graces, then they entrench themselves in the comforts we provide, then make rules, often on a whim. Their primary purpose becomes power over others. This is not to be confused with law and order, this is a different thing entirely. Laws that are man-made and serve man. God’s laws cannot be broken. Man-made laws need to be questioned, always. Religions of the world make it easy to disagree. Ironically, some countries go to war over this, all in the name of God. God is God, and how our crude abstract language system defines or explains it, rest assured it isn’t the whole picture. You see what the government wants you to see. Question everything. Trust in God. We call on our instincts, our character and core beliefs and we weigh this with our God given intellect.
I’ve come to realize that the people who work, who want to work, to have a purpose, to draw strength from this work, make decisions and staying true to who they are, is what evolution of the soul is all about.
