10/19/2025
Itās okay to admit when we were wrong, right? To confess when we were wading through some disobedience to our Father?
Lalaās Loaves is at its end. Iāve honestly been putting off sharing this because I fully understand Iāve been all over the place with this venture. I donāt want to let anyone down who enjoys my sourdough. I donāt quit things or go back on my word. I said I would finish the year, but that just isnāt going to happen.
To call a spade a spade, I was wrestling with being obedient to the Lord. Trying to have my cake and eat it too. Justifying continuing something that He really is just asking me to lay down. I was in tears exhausted after the last bake, and not just physically. I was so excited and happy to bake so many loaves but it cost me something more than time and energy. It cost me patience for my babies. It cost me rushed and frazzled nap times, unplanned meals. It wildly disrupted the normal temperament of our home. It cost me things I work really hard to protect. And for what?
When I was working through this with Ian, I said doing this has to be for of 1 of 3 reasons:
1. God has called me to this.
2. We NEED the money.
3. I need something else going on other than Motherhood to feel important.
Number 1 falls apart quickly because I never really had peace from the Lord about starting up again. I justified that with the āwell, Iāll just see how it goes. If itās successful enough that must mean we should continueā. Wrong.
Number 2 doesnāt work because no matter what, our God supplies us with all we NEED. My precious friend Caroline reminded me of this several weeks ago and it has been on my mind and heart ever since. Is extra cash helpful and wonderful? Yeah. What single income family couldnāt use some extra money laying around? Especially this time of year. Especially with XYZ coming up to pay for (hey, car tags and property taxesšµāš«). My sinful nature of consumerism can justify this all day long. But an extra million dollars will never touch the goodness and joy that is found in obedience to the Lord.
Number 3 is very hard to come to terms with, especially with the way Iāve been wired since childhood. I love being a mother. If you know me, I pray this is evident in my life. Why is it that I can put it on the back burner so easy when itās for something that makes me feel āimportantā (notice I said feel). Feelings arenāt truth. God is. When I can step back and adjust my lens, look at what He says in His Word, I know that there is nothing more important about me than following Christ. The next is being a wife. The third is being a mother. If anything is taking away from that, it isnāt worth it. No matter the cost. We agreed on that when I quit my paid job. I didnāt do that just to get caught up in something else that distracts from those main things.
This doesnāt mean thatās itās true for everyone else. It doesnāt mean that I will never do anything else. I have many desires that I believe the Lord has given me for a purpose that may one day look like doing something else (*cough*cough* lactation/birth). Sourdough just isnāt it. The Lord is calling me to learn to be still, learn to be content, and learn to just be in rest. This could really take a while (been relating to the Israelites in scripture more than ever lately) because my nature, sinful, is to constantly be striving for success thatās measured by the world. I have to have CONSTANT reminding that the only success I should be headed towards is that of eternal value.
So here I am humbly saying, I quit.
Ah, that felt good.š®āšØ
Thank you, genuinely, to every single one of you that have purchased sourdough from me. If you ever want to make it yourself, Iāll always have starter and my sourdough guide ready for you!
Happy Sunday, everyone. Go to church. Open your Bible. Say a prayer. Get outside. Love your family. K, bye! š¤
