08/17/2026
THE HARDEST YEAR OF MY LIFE TAUGHT ME SOME OF THE MOST IMPORTANT THINGS I NEED TO KNOW -
As many of you know my oldest daughter, Rhiannon, served in Baghdad for a year. She signed up for the Army Reserves in 2000 for money for college. When I joined her at the recruiters office in 1999 my one question was, “What if we go to war?” And the recruiters response was, “Who would we go to war with?” She signed the paperwork.
Fast forward to 2001, Rhiannon’s 1st year of college in NYC at the School of Visual Arts, 11 blocks from the World Trade Towers. Watching the news and soon after hearing it was a terrorist attack I felt like I couldn’t breathe. This is who we could go to war with and now my daughter’s in the Army. A number of people assured me, as a woman she would not be sent to the front lines… in 2003 she got her orders and was not allowed to tell us where she was headed. I knew. I knew in the pit of my stomach she was going to war. Once she arrived I heard from her. She would be spending a year in Baghdad with the First Cav. This became the longest year of my life.
This is when it began - not wanting anyone to ring my doorbell. No cars I didn’t recognize pulling up to my house. A new feeling of constantly holding my breath. An eye opening year of how spoiled I was that I never had to live through war here in the US.
This is a long way around to tell you one of the things I started to learn early on was the bond soldiers have when serving during a war. It is not something that can be put into words. I don’t think there are any words they could share with those of us who have not had their experience. So the bond that is created is often unspoken. It is a sense of relief when/if they ever happen to see each other again once they return home. And often a relief that is shared in the hugs, the tears and their unspoken words that aren’t needed when they do.
Rhiannon’s year in Baghdad became a year filled with names and photos of the people in her world. They covered my sliding glass door that year. Soon I got to put names with faces and the stories she shared. I was privileged to meet a number of them when they arrived home and then when 6 of them came to Annville to be part of the Annville Memorial Day Parade that year - 2005.
One of the soldiers that has stayed part of my life was her dear friend, Robert Davis. About 14 years ago Robert and his wife, Amanda, surprised me with a visit to my daughter’s home in Colorado and we have stayed in touch through Facebook.
This brings me to a surprise visit this past week. Rhiannon sent me a text to see if I would be at the Bakery at 9:30am. Yes I would. She said it’s a surprise, a surprise I would love. Hmmm… Next morning sitting on the Bakery porch is Robert Davis. It was like having one of my kids come home. I called Rhonnda (she met him and hung with the crew when they were here for the parade) and she showed up instantly. We spent the day talking, laughing, going to the National Cemetery, making recipes (it was batter making day), doing dishes, going to lunch, sharing stories about our kids ( Robert and Amanda’s oldest son just finished basic at West Point as he begins his first year there). We FaceTimed Rhiannon and instantly I could feel it. Their history of a time we will never be able to understand, but could see in their eyes and their faces, the moment they saw each other. We all talked and laughed and we were all so excited to share in this special visit. The connection they have could be felt - the memories of something we can’t imagine. When we hung up, Rhonnda, Robert, and I had tears. For me, it was the reminder that anyone that has experienced war has an unspoken connection - it never goes away.
What a gift it was to have Robert take the time to visit. We had an absolutely wonderful and unforgettable day. Thank you Robert and Rhiannon for your service. Thank you to the 1% that sign up to protect us.
So, this is what I learned the year my daughter went to war -
I learned that my girls are capable of anything they chose to do or be
I learned I can love people I don’t know - the ones who served beside my daughter and watched out for each other
I learned to trust decisions my girls make and cheer them on (even if it’s hard)
I learned to wake up and be thankful for a new day (this has been challenged over the years but I try to remind myself each morning).
I learned surprise visits from people I love are the best!!!
Thank you Robert for becoming a part of my life so many years ago and making the drive to remind me how lucky I am to love and be loved!
