05/31/2026
📢 FOUND: One Slightly Abandoned Wallet
A wallet believed to belong to Gage has been hanging around the Coop looking confused and asking where its owner went.
At first it was hopeful.
Then it got concerned.
Now it's mostly disappointed.
It keeps saying things like:
"I carried his money."
"I held his driver's license."
"I was there for him every day."
"And this is how he repays me?"
Gage, your wallet would like to speak with you regarding trust issues and abandonment.
Please come pick it up before it starts a support group with all the lost sunglasses and random toys left behind at the Coop.