02/09/2026
STORY TIME!!🎤📖
I thought it was only fair that if we’re asking you lot to share your Dad stories… we share one of our own.
So I’m submitting this one on behalf of my children.
But mostly on behalf of myself, because unfortunately I was there. 😂
Years ago, when Fred and I decided to buy our first home, we headed into our local BNZ to try and secure a mortgage.
Very grown up. Very serious.
We were taken into one of those little glass cubicles to sit down with the lovely lending lady and go through all our finances, paperwork, income, expenses… all the things that determine whether the bank thinks you’re responsible enough to own a house.
Everything was going swimmingly.
Then she politely excused herself to go and photocopy some documents.
She’d been gone maybe 20 seconds when apparently the pressure of securing a mortgage became too much for Fred’s digestive system.
And he let out an absolute clapper of a fart.
Now, Fred clearly believed we were safely contained inside this little glass room.
We were not.
The glass was merely a partition.
It did not go to the ceiling.
And that fart rang out on high throughout the entire BNZ branch.
Fred was completely unfazed.
Meanwhile, I was sitting there locking eyes with various members of the public through the glass, trying to decide whether I wanted to die on the spot or beat him to death.
To this day, it remains one of the most embarrassing moments of my life.
Thankfully, BNZ did not consider public flatulence in a lending environment grounds to decline a mortgage, and we got the house. 🏠
Fred no longer attends important financial meetings with me.
And our children have always been very grateful to have a roof over their heads…
No thanks to their father’s arse.
Your turn. 😂👇
Surely someone can beat Fred.
Drop your funniest Dad story on the giveaway post — or if you don’t want to publicly expose the poor man, just tag him.
He’ll know. 😉
🥧 WIN DAD A FREE PIE EVERY DAY FOR A MONTH! 🥧
Yep. 30 FREE CRAVE PIES.
Because apparently this Father’s Day we’ve decided one Dad needs an absolutely unreasonable amount of pastry. 😂
So, tell us something about your Dad that makes you laugh.
Maybe he’s got a saying he’s been flogging to death since 1997.
Maybe he falls asleep in the chair every night and then SWEARS he was awake.
Maybe he’s got a DIY job that’s been “nearly finished” for six years.
Maybe there’s a family story that gets wheeled out at every gathering while Dad sits there thinking here we bloody go again. 😂
Don’t want to out Dad publicly? Fair enough. 😂
Just tag him because you love him.
He’ll know. 😉 He knows the story.
👇 Tag your Dad / husband / partner / grandad / father figure
😂 Share the story if you dare
❤️ Or just tag him and keep the family secrets safe
We’ll pick one lucky Dad this Father’s Day — Sunday 6 September to win:
🏆 30 CRAVE PIES. A FREE PIE EVERY DAY FOR A MONTH.
Come on CHB — give us a laugh, give Dad a tag, and let’s see which lucky bu**er is eating pies for the next month.
30 pies can buy a lot of forgiveness. 😂🥧
