04/08/2026
Not Just My Mother ~
06.11.46 - 04.08.2018
I wrote something for my mother and hope it resonates with you all. Because we all have lost someone dear to us and experienced grief. The way it shapeshifts through the years is incredible. The hole in the heart fills up with memories but also regrets and resolve to care for people who mean something to you. There is nothing more effective than grief to change perspectives and priorities in life. 2018 was a momentous shift for me and I am a better person for it.
P.S: swipe to read the full text.
In that suspended moment just before floating off to sleep oftentimes I think of my mother. Gone 8 years now.
How I would like to meet her again. Not as my mother but as a woman with her own individual life story. I began to see glimpses of it in my early adult life - the way she laughed with abandon, at others and herself, how she mocked my father with a glint in her eyes, how she hungrily tasted something new, how excited she was about wearing salwar kameez late in her life after wearing sarees for most of it. I wish I could know her as a person with ambitions, regrets and pride in the things she did so well. A person with texture and a past before she became a bodily representation of home for all of us.
As a young school girl with hopes, dreams and daily dramas.
As a young bride thrilled with a new life yet overwhelmed with new responsibilities.
As a young mother overflowing with love for her child yet feeling utterly unprepared to take care of one.
I didn't get to know any of these versions of her, fully.
If only she could come into my life as a girlfriend and we could start all over again and in time share secrets, stories from another time and people we were before we met each other.