Crude Crumbs

Crude Crumbs Bold bakes. Sharp Wit. No Filter. Handmade, high quality and unapologetically delicious. Delivered UK wide (ex.NI)

From indulgent brownies to sarcastic biscuits, our treats say what you're thinking, whether it's burnout, breakups or evil menopause.

12/05/2026

At Crude Crumbs we make unapologetically indulgent brownies, cheeky gifts and sarcastic little pick-me-ups for the people surviving life one caffeine-fuelled crisis at a time.

Brownies by post.Letterbox gifts.Mugs, postcards and dark humour included.

Basically… emotional support, but edible.

So if you think you might need a sassy gift, sarcastic pick me up or just really good brownies give us a follow!

Perimenopause is a wild ride. I know every word to Dirty Dancing, random phone numbers from 1996 and exactly what som...
09/05/2026

Perimenopause is a wild ride.

I know every word to Dirty Dancing,
random phone numbers from 1996
and exactly what someone said that pi**ed me off 4 years ago…

But apparently walking into the kitchen
and remembering what I’m in there for
is beyond me.

Tag the mate whose brain’s doing the same s**t 🤝

Some days humans are exhausting.The opinions.The drama.The pointless conversations you didn’t ask to be involved in. 🙃Me...
07/05/2026

Some days humans are exhausting.
The opinions.
The drama.
The pointless conversations you didn’t ask to be involved in. 🙃

Meanwhile your dog’s just there like:
“Yeah… I don’t trust them either.” 🐶

No judgement.
No fake energy.
No weird small talk.
Just unconditional loyalty, emotional support and silent mutual hatred of certain people.

Honestly at this point, my dog and I are less of a pet-owner duo and more of a tiny, furry judgement committee. ☕️💜

“My Dog And I Judge People Together.”
Because therapy’s expensive and your dog already knows who the di*****ds are.

Female business owners are honestly a different species…Running a business while simultaneously managing:✨ peri-menopaus...
06/05/2026

Female business owners are honestly a different species…

Running a business while simultaneously managing:
✨ peri-menopause
✨ brain fog
✨ restless legs
✨ hormones doing parkour at 3am
✨ an endless mental to-do list
✨ everyone else’s problems
✨ and a household that somehow still expects you to know where everything is.

One minute you’re building a brand, the next you’re googling:
“Is rage a symptom or am I just surrounded by morons?”

And despite being overstimulated, overtired, under-caffeinated and one minor inconvenience away from a full eye twitch…

we still show up.
Still sort it.
Still keep people alive, businesses running and dinners vaguely organised.

Honestly, women are carrying society on tired legs and strong coffee.

Anyway.
Here’s your reminder that surviving the week is still a win. 🤎

https://www.crudecrumbs.co.uk

Everyone else: “short week, love that for us”Me: still working, still confused, still running purely on caffeine.Bank ho...
05/05/2026

Everyone else: “short week, love that for us”
Me: still working, still confused, still running purely on caffeine.

Bank holidays don’t exist when you run your own s**t. Days of the week are more of a suggestion at this point.

Pretty sure it’s Tuesday… but honestly, who the hell knows.

You’re not dramatic…you’re just dealing with peoplewho make you question your sanity on a daily basis.Work. Life. The ge...
02/05/2026

You’re not dramatic…
you’re just dealing with people
who make you question your sanity on a daily basis.

Work. Life. The general public.
Take your pick.

Some days… survival is the achievement.

—

👉 Tag someone who gets this
👉 Or send it to the one causing it

Feels like everything’s a bit much right now?Like nothing’s quite going right, you’re holding it together (just), and no...
30/04/2026

Feels like everything’s a bit much right now?

Like nothing’s quite going right, you’re holding it together (just), and no one’s actually noticing how much you’re juggling?

Yeah… you’re not the only one.

This is your reminder to pause for a minute.
Or send that reminder to someone who really needs it.

A little bit of luxury.
A lot of chocolate.
And just the right amount of sweary honesty.

✨ Our Word of the Month is live for 3 days only
✨ But if that one’s not your vibe, there’s a whole range of cheeky quotes to choose from too

Because sometimes…
a brownie says it better than you can.

Send it. Eat it. Get through it.

Limited stock available.

👉 https://www.crudecrumbs.co.uk

If everything’s a bit s**t…naturally you want chocolate.Not a salad. Not a walk.Something deep, fudgy and unapologetical...
26/04/2026

If everything’s a bit s**t…
naturally you want chocolate.

Not a salad. Not a walk.
Something deep, fudgy and unapologetically chocolatey.

Add in a good swear…
and now we’re getting somewhere.

This month’s word is CLUSTERFCK
for when life is just a complete mess.

Send yourself, or someone you know, a box of brownies with a cheeky, sweary postcard inside
saying it exactly how it is.

A TOTAL CLUSTERFCK

Exactly what your mood ordered.

Launched 29th April. 3 days. Gone.

https://www.crudecrumbs.co.uk/products/this-months-word-brownie-card

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