Cakes Contour

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Cakes Contour we’re Jordan & Nathan aka Cakes Contour… we’re a 2 man team freshly baking traybakes every week. Shipped Nationwide 🫶 based in Newcastle Upon Tyne 💖

15/10/2026

The Custard Cream controversy has entered its dispatch era 🤣😋

Meanwhile, back in the bakery… we’re bagging up your Custard Cream Millionaires Shortbread and getting these little beauties ready to leave us TODAY!📦🤎

Somewhere out there, a very lucky group of people are about to discover what all the fuss is about😭🤤

We’ve had the debates, the allegations, the unsolicited business advice and what can only be described as a national inquiry into 11 jars of M&S spread… and now? We’re just here making sure your shortbread arrives safely😂💀

BUT WE NEED TO SETTLE SOMETHING… 👀👇

Are you:
🍪 TEAM CUSTARD CREAM: elite biscuit taste buds, obviously.
🍫 TEAM BOURBON: dark, mysterious and questionable.
🍪 TEAM HOBNOB: the underdog with a superiority complex.
🍪 TEAM DIGESTIVE: you can’t be trusted with the aux.

👇 COMMENT YOUR TEAM BELOW! And if you say Rich Tea, we’re going to need to have a separate conversation. 😂😭

Thank you to everyone who’s ordered, shared, commented and accidentally helped turn a slice of millionaire’s shortbread into the most controversial baked good on the internet. We love you🫶🤎

📦 Nationwide delivery
🍰 Handmade in our little Newcastle bakery
🍪 Custard Cream chaos, dispatched daily.

P.S. The Custard Cream slices will be back on the restock this Saturday at 12:00… just saying👀😋

14/10/2026

Well, it’s official. I’ve only gone and been appointed CHIEF CUSTARD CREAM OFFICER🍪👑😭

After the events of the last week, I can now confirm that my Custard Cream credentials have arrived 😂 A massive thank you to the lovely people who’ve kindly sent me this badge… it’s an absolute honour to serve🫡🤎

I’ve also ordered myself a Custard Cream beanie, which is yet to arrive, so naturally, this badge will be worn with the respect and dignity this position deserves.

The role is unpaid, the responsibilities are unclear, and the public scrutiny has been absolutely relentless💀😂

My duties will include:
🍪 Defending the nation’s right to enjoy a Custard Cream.
🤎 Ensuring adequate spread representation in millionaire’s shortbread.
📢 Speaking up for independent bakeries everywhere.
😭 Personally investigating any reports of M&S stock shortages.

I’d like to thank everyone who has supported me on this journey, and everyone who has criticised me… because without you, I wouldn’t be where I am today😂👏

The Custard Cream Cinematic Universe is expanding. Watch this space💅🏻🍪🤎

POV: You come to M&S for the one thing the entire internet has accused you of buying too much of… and THEY’VE RUN OUT😭😭😭...
14/10/2026

POV: You come to M&S for the one thing the entire internet has accused you of buying too much of… and THEY’VE RUN OUT😭😭😭

WHO’S THE SELFISH ONE NOW, MARKS?!💔😂

No spread. No will to live 💀🥲

Thoughts and prayers at this difficult time, please🥹🙏🏻

P.S. Custard Cream slices are BACK this Saturday at 12:00 Just in case anyone was wondering what all the fuss was about😏🤎🍪

For everyone suggesting we should “just buy the Custard Cream spread wholesale”… I promise you, we know wholesalers exis...
13/10/2026

For everyone suggesting we should “just buy the Custard Cream spread wholesale”… I promise you, we know wholesalers exist😭😂

We buy our flour in 16kg sacks, chocolate in 10–15kg sacks, butter in packs of 40, and sugar in 25kg sacks. We’re a bakery. Buying ingredients in bulk isn’t exactly a groundbreaking concept to us😂

BUT… and here’s the plot twist… THIS PARTICULAR SPREAD IS EXCLUSIVE TO M&S. It’s not available through our usual wholesalers or anywhere else on the high street.

Could I contact the manufacturer? Potentially. Could they tell me I’d need to order an industrial quantity that would require its own postcode? Also potentially. And even if I could order it, there’s no guarantee they’d supply a small bakery with a product made exclusively for… M&S

We’re a small independent bakery, not a multinational food manufacturer with a warehouse the size of a football pitch😭😂

We use this spread in ONE of our bakes. We bought the jars that were available, used them to make a product our customers wanted, and sold that product. That’s it. That’s the scandal

We haven’t bought them to resell the jars at a markup, we’re not hoarding them, and we’re certainly not unfamiliar with the concept of wholesale purchasing.

Sometimes, the ingredient you need is only available in a shop. And sometimes, a small business buys that ingredient from said shop. Because… well… that’s also what shops are for😂👏

Anyway, thank you for your concern about our procurement strategy. If anyone has a direct line to the Custard Cream Spread Wholesale Division, though, do send it over. I’ll get right on that😭💀

We have a cancellation - anyone want this exact order for £25?? Dispatched Thursday with the rest of the orders! Worth £...
13/10/2026

We have a cancellation - anyone want this exact order for £25?? Dispatched Thursday with the rest of the orders! Worth £35.99 xo

Since apparently we’re now having a public inquiry into my shopping trolley… 😂😭A little clarification for anyone concern...
12/10/2026

Since apparently we’re now having a public inquiry into my shopping trolley… 😂😭

A little clarification for anyone concerned about my 11 jars of M&S Custard Cream spread:

🛒 M&S is a shop. Shops stock products for people to purchase. I went in, the jars were available to buy, and I bought them. Hope that clears up the mystery😂

We’ve only been buying this spread for a couple of weeks, and in that time there have already been plenty of occasions where we’ve gone into M&S and they’ve been sold out, so we’ve missed out ourselves. That’s how stock works… sometimes it’s there, sometimes it isn’t🤷🏻‍♂️

Until yesterday, we ALWAYS left at least half of what was on the shelf for other people. We didn’t clear the shelves every time we went in. But this time, after our latest restock, we needed the remaining 11 jars to make our infamous Trisha’s ‘Custard Creme’ Millionaires Shortbread😂🍪

We’re a bakery. We buy ingredients to make the products you order from us. This particular ingredient happens to be a very popular jar of biscuit spread from M&S

So please, don’t be mad at me because I got there before you this time. I’ve had plenty of trips where I’ve got there too late myself!

Anyway, Joolz, I hope this helps. I’ll be sure to submit my next grocery shop for public approval❤️💀

When needs must… ty M&S silverlink for having some stock 👅🩷
11/10/2026

When needs must… ty M&S silverlink for having some stock 👅🩷

11/10/2026

Sorry, but LOOK AT THAT MIDDLE😭🤤🍫

Rich, fudgy Kinder brownie goodness, rolled up into one ridiculously indulgent treat. And that slice? We could watch it being cut all day👀🤎

For the Kinder lovers, the chocolate addicts, and the people who believe there’s no such thing as too much chocolate… this one’s for you🫶🏻

And don’t worry, if Kinder isn’t your thing, we’re down to only 28 other bakes for you to choose from 😂💀 I’ve also added one last tray of Trisha’s Custard Creme Millionaires Shortbread… we’ve sold LOTS of that this restock 🥲👅

🛍️ Shop the full range at cakescontour.co.uk
📦 Handmade in our unit in Newcastle upon Tyne and shipped Nationwide 🤤

And just like that… 43 different bakes are ready and waiting for you🤤🍰Here’s a little peek at some of the goodies that l...
10/10/2026

And just like that… 43 different bakes are ready and waiting for you🤤🍰

Here’s a little peek at some of the goodies that left our kitchen this week and looking at this photo, I think we can safely say we’re not short of options! 👀

And for anyone who’s been following the Custard Cream Chronicles… 😂 (last time I’m mentioning it haha)

If Custard Creams aren’t your thing, DON’T PANIC. We’ve got 42 other options for you to fall in love with💀❤️

From fudgy brownies and loaded blondies to cookie pies, millionaire’s shortbread and plenty more, there’s something for just about every sweet tooth

🛍️ All 43 bakes are now available on the website.

📦 All orders placed this week will be freshly baked next week and shipped nationwide!

So whether you’re team Custard Cream or absolutely NOT team Custard Cream… we’ve got you😂❤️

Shop the full range at https://www.cakescontour.co.uk

Thank you, as always, for keeping our little bakery busy. Every single order means the world to us! 🫶🏻

10/10/2026

Well… this is probably the most attention a Custard Cream has ever received in the history of Custard Creams 😂💀

What started as one little comment turned into a whole Facebook debate, brought plenty of new eyes to Cakes Contour and gave us all a good laugh along the way

So, genuinely, thank you to everyone who joined in, shared the post, commented and helped spread the word ❤️ We’ll never say no to a bit of extra love for our little bakery!

And in honour of the unexpected chaos, for today’s restock, this slice has officially been named Trisha’s ‘Custard Creme’ Millionaires Shortbread😂

Now, enough talking… LOOK AT THAT SLICE🤤

Buttery shortbread, creamy caramel, a generous layer of chocolate and all the nostalgia of a Custard Cream biscuit in one very indulgent bite!

📦 Handmade in Newcastle. Posted nationwide

Love it or hate it, you’ve certainly all been talking about it😉🍪

In stock and available to order today at 12:00 🫶🏼🙌🏼

Address

Unit 19, Byker Business Centre, Albion Row, Byker
Newcastle Upon Tyne
NE61LQ

Telephone

+447932612522

Website

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