A Spoon Full Of Sugar- Bespoke Cake Boutique

08/06/2026

Still no news on my little place. I don’t know if I should laugh or cry. I’m going to choose laughter today. I’ve no idea why but I feel inspired and creative.
Had a trip out with the family to a lavender farm yesterday. Watched the bees working away and the flowers being beautiful.

A friend brought me the most beautiful roses last week 💕
Anyway I’ve made my little pad cosy. Oh and eggs from my lovely friends I clean for on a Friday 💛
I’ve started mind mapping for a book.

08/06/2026

Some colour on this dreary day 💛💕

06/06/2026

06/06/2026

I’m still a caravan lady collecting simple sweet moments.

An afternoon with a good friend this week. Giggling littles knocking at nanas caravan door. Nana it’s us! Visiting Isobel and her cat Duchess,while she shows me her beautiful yellow bee friendly cottage garden flowers. Popping out for breakfast together. Baking a cake for the girls to come back to. Painting to keep my mind at ease. Telephone conversations from Florence who is looking after my old cat.
Missing my darling. Little signs from him always.
The girls took me to the Linny last night. Mine and Andrew’s old haunt. I used to take us in my Morris minor. And there like magic was a moggie. And my birthday is February. 💛💕

04/06/2026

In Queens wood there lived a king fox. He was known by the name of Arden.
King Arden was old and tired. After fighting many battles over many years, he decided it was time to rest.
The gathering happened that night. The woods were silent for once as their great king silently spoke.

I have dreamt of a beautiful place where we go to when our time here is over.
The trees and flowers have colour beyond our imagination.
We grow wings to fly like the crows.
My bones are aching and I’m old.
You will have a new Queen and she will show you the way.

Started drawing and doodling again yesterday.
So many things thrown at my weary mind and body. Sometimes it’s painfully hard to find a clear mind path to do the things that help.
There’s nothing more i would love, than to be the old daft me but I’m a different person now. It doesn’t mean I’m not silly at times but I am different. This grief and there are all kinds of grief which I have experienced but this one has sent me on a completely new journey. It’s a hard road and yes most of the time I put a pretend mask on but I also think it’s a good thing to share some feelings. At the end of the day I’ve lost my best friend and my kids have lost their dad. Nine months is nothing. Thirty six years together is a life time. People can get sick of listening and yeah it’s not their life that’s been torn into shreds. It’s a balance when you can but if you can’t, that’s just bloody normal.

I went to the drs yesterday for a skin cancer check. Spoke to a lovely junior dr who asked how I was feeling genuinely and I said oh you know, nursed and lost my husband, have trauma and feel exhausted, worry about my kids who pretend they’re okay,no job ,no home yet living in a caravan …
But I try and meditate and do art work to help my mental health. She asked if I was getting any help , I sort of laughed. From who?
She went to get my dr who said there’s only two charities who can help the bereaved. I knew who she was talking about and I pulled a face.
She shrugged her shoulders, sorry that’s all I have, nice to see you. Then left.
I smiled at the junior dr who looked so disheartened.
It made me think about all of the broken people who are holding so much inside and just might need to talk to someone who really genuinely cares about how a person is feeling.
Keeping it all in doesn’t do anyone any good.

02/06/2026

Looking at life like a lucky bag.
You never know what you’re going to get. Sometimes you can plan and it works and sometimes you don’t and it works. But then there are times it can throw you into a tornado like a kite without its string. I’ve been through so much, too much over the past twenty two months. I feel pretty broken but I’m still here and there’s a roof.

Love and light to everyone 💛

30/05/2026

Still no home so I’m lady in a van. I talk to Andrew every day. The path of life is filled with moments that break us and moments of light. .

28/05/2026

Bud continues to remind me that rest, reflection, meditation and stepping back from the noise is always the best move.

Grief is a heavy bag to carry.

Next chapter… lady in a van.

12/05/2026

I
I’ve got a job interview next week. Our eldest daughter was helping me sort emails saying when I can be interviewed and all that jazz. As I was leaving last night after being fed ( thank you Sophie). Elizabeth said now mam, what about interview prep? I laughed and said oh I’ll do it in the day. They want me or they don’t.
Her eyes widened, right okay mam. 🙊

I may find out today if I have a moving date or guess what, I might not but I’m at the stage of whatever’s. Then I have to sort the gas person to put heating in and then a floor person. It’s all go and very strange having to do it alone. But I’ve got my wizard of Oz courage from somewhere but not a wizard.

I’m already on a strange journey and it’s probably about to get stranger.

It’s my darlings birthday this week. We all feel sick at the thought of him not being here for it. We miss him terribly. It’s really s**t. That’s the simple way to say it. But I hope we make him smile and proud because by god we all try hard to cope when we can. 💛

I may try and keep myself occupied with things I share to you wonderful people who i will never forget. Or I might not. Who knows. X