09/10/2023
Welcome to our next Death Cafe (It's in its 7th year now!)
Wednesday 25th October at 6.45pm - 8.30pm
Tea Hive, 53 Manchester Rd, Chorlton, Manchester M21 9PW
Please arrive at 6.45pm for a 7pm start.
To book your place, please email me….
Email: [email protected]
If you’re coming for the first time, may I ask you to please read all this info below before you come. Many thanks.
What to expect:
There is no cost, but only if you would like to and have the means to do so, please consider buying a drink and maybe a slice of cake, to make it worthwhile for the Tea Hive owners opening up in the evening, exclusively for us.
There is a simple format for the evening:
Arrive and buy your drink and cake if you’d like to. I’ll be there to greet you.
Sit anywhere that’s laid out for us - we’ll sit in small groups and will stay in the same group for the evening.
I’ll say a short welcome and introduction.
For the remainder of the evening there is no formal structure: it will be a confidential space, in which you’ll be invited to chat within your group about any issues concerning you around death, dying, funerals, memorials, end of life .…We’ll be there to hear each other's stories, fears, concerns, and anything we can offer each other.
You could have a look at http://deathcafe.com/
The description of a Death Cafe, from the founders themselves is this:
“At a Death Cafe people, often strangers, gather to eat cake, drink tea and discuss death.
Our objective is 'to increase awareness of death with a view to helping people make the most of their (finite) lives'.
A Death Cafe is a group directed discussion of death with no agenda, objectives or themes.
It is a discussion group rather than a grief support or counselling session.
Death Cafes are always offered:
On a not-for-profit basis
In an accessible, respectful and confidential space with no intention of leading people to any conclusion, product or course of action.”
So for clarity, Death Cafe is not a therapy group, a professional bereavement support or a grief support resource.
If you are experiencing acute grief from a recent bereavement, please get in touch with me. I have resources to share and we can chat about the Death Cafe - what it is, what it isn't.
[email protected]
You may be holding old grief and this may be stirred during conversations in your group.
Every effort is made to ensure it is a safe space, but it is essentially our community coming together in random groups to talk and to listen.
There are no staff and no professionals there in their work capacity.
Every group will be different, and, if you come more than once, your experiences will vary.
Come with the intention to be accepting of others and to listen actively, with no need to ‘fix’ anything or give advice. Often just telling your story/sharing your fears or experiences can reveal what may feel like a ‘solution’, simply as a result of the telling.
You’ll be welcome to speak if you want to, in your group. Each person’s story is their own ~ stories don’t need to link together.
It seems to work well when we speak from our direct, first-hand experiences, rather than talking about theory or concepts from things we may have read (although some of this is inevitable and can be helpful too.)
The age range of participants has been from early 20s to those aged 80yrs+.
Participants may just be curious about the uncertainty that surrounds death and dying, they may have suffered bereavements, or they may have had a diagnosis and know they are in their own end of life phase. There may be other reasons for coming too.
All are welcome.
There’ll be no specific topics, nowhere to get to, no set questions as, when it comes to death, we all seem to have plenty to discuss already.
You and your group will be responsible for making sure that everyone has a fair chance to be heard.
Death Cafe gives us the permission we often don't experience in day to day life to talk about the one thing that is certainly going to affect us all.
Facing death and talking about it can help us to embrace life more fully.
Hope to see you there.
Some comments from previous participants, shared with their permission....
"Tonight was such a beautiful experience, really gentle, rich in content, balanced, mature, wise, insightful, interesting, heard and listening in equal measures, respectful, non-judgemental.
It felt such a meaningful couple of hours, hearing stories, experiences and views, and sharing a bit of what I have experienced and felt too. I feel deeply moved by it, it’s taken me by surprise.”
“I just wanted to thank you again for being so welcoming. The combination of a wonderful venue and brilliant people truly made it a fulfilling evening and really encouraged me." Solveiga
“As ever I found my visit to the Death Cafe really rewarding and the conversations we had are still with me as I muse on them and the questions they raise. It is so good to hear from a group of people with differing experiences and differing understandings. I love the mix of the very practical and the very philosophical with room for humour.” William West
“I so look forward to coming to this Death Cafe, everyone is friendly, the talk always honest and open. It's really rewarding to listen to others share their thoughts on death and dying, and when I do speak I always feel listened too. It's just a great evening! Last night I left feeling so relaxed and positive.” Phil
"Thanks again for last night. Your Death Cafes are getting better and better - the evening was really well held; people on my table were very relaxed and open to communicating honestly. I don't know what I expected, or even why I came (I didn't have a particular reason in mind). During the evening, while listening to others, I found an opportunity to reflect on how far I have come in my grieving since I first came to a Death Cafe over a year ago. I was able to see that sad little wound clearly, and I saw how it had healed up so much. I noticed how much peace I have now. And I was able to explore in the conversation issues around death and dying that were not about the pain I have experienced. So it was a good evening! If that makes sense. Also I made a new friend!”
“A different experience at each Death Cafe, grounding, interesting, shedding fears, community, communication, shared experiences, soulful discussions, openness, life, death, spirit, soul, full, safe. We are all One. We are All Connected in this Mysterious life.
A few things that spring to mind.” Siobhan
“A warm inviting atmosphere welcomed, not to mention the superb array of teas available and yummy cakes. The two hours we had disappeared in a flash as people shared stories, asked probing questions around death explored our attitudes and beliefs around death dying and also bereavement. We talked about what is a good death and what is a bad death and how we would prefer to die. A rich diverse life affirming evening. It’s a pity they are held so far apart. Thank you Debbie for your gracious hosting." Jude
