Big Daft Cakes

03/06/2026

Alright ya bunch of smelly degenerates, here's some housekeeping....

🌟 This weekend's markets are

Newton Mearns Market on Saturday
Kirkintilloch Farmers Market on Sunday
The Market at Loch Lomond Shores on Sunday

Due to other commitments, this is our last time at Loch Lomond til late July. So if this is your local market, make sure to come by and stock up 👍

🌟 I will not be making Dot Cups (pictured below)

I know it's trendy and viral right now, but it's just a bloody cupcake in a tub. Absolute nonsense 😒

Plus I don't support single use plastic, all my stuff is biodigge...biogredab...biodegree....

Good for the planet 🌏

🌟 Sorry the live videos have stopped. I'll be honest, it's been too fu***ng warm. I spend my evenings sweating like hell and nobody needs to see that. Maybe next week 🤔

🌟 My niece, who was still a bun in the oven at our wedding, has her high school prom tonight. So I will be having an existential crisis about the passage of time, coming to terms with getting older, and checking the minimum prison sentence for skelping everybody who chats her up tonight.

🌟 And last but not least, my GoFundMe raised a whole £10. So the current plan is to buy some second hand sandshoes off Ebay and walk to Cardiff.

Wish me luck 🙏

02/06/2026

I've started a GoFundMe so I can save up for a private jet and fly down to do that gluten-free show in Cardiff.

Any donations are appreciated 👍

EDIT: This is obviously a joke.

If you actually send me money, I'm gonna keep it and spend it on Transformers.

That bit isn't a joke.

You have been warned ⚠️

EDIT 2: Who the f**k actually donated a fiver?! 🤣

Hi there, Big Dafty here. I'm saving up for a private jet so I can fly to Cardiff for a gluten-f… Graeme Flannagan needs your support for Saving up for a jet.

01/06/2026

As you may have noticed by the big rainbow at the top of the page, we are celebrating Pride Month here at Big Daft Cakes 🌈

It's not just cake equality we believe in, but equality for everyone regardless of sexuality, gender, colour or religion. ❤️

For the month of June, I will be selling slices of my Big Gay Rainbow Cake at markets 🎂

For every slice sold, I will be donating the profits to LGBT Youth Scotland, a wonderful charity that supports young people becoming their true selves.

And at the end of the month I'll raffle off an entire Rainbow Cake, with every entry fee being added in to the donations pot.

So please help us raise money, and awareness, for this wonderful cause.

Thanks everyone ❤️ 💙 💜 💖

31/05/2026

It's always nice to be invited to trade at markets, but this one made me smile 😃

Thanks to you guys my fame has went international 😲 🤣

So, who's chipping in for the Big Daft Jet? 🤔

30/05/2026

BIG NEWS: The Dafty (perfectly named, low IQ individual) ran out of cake at Helensburgh Market in the Square. Probably never actually sold anything, horrible baker, poor ratings, should be cancelled. Didn't even stay for the rain, people were furious. Talk of never having him back! BIG DAFT DISAPPOINTMENT. They should have asked me, nobody knows more about gluten-free than me. I'm the one who freed the gluten anyway.

"Donald J Trump"

30/05/2026

28/05/2026

Evening all 👋

Some housekeeping......

🌟 All the postal orders were sent out this morning, they should be with you tomorrow. Due to the heatwave, I'd advise getting them straight into the fridge when you get them so they don't melt.

🌟 Everyone who doesn't indicate on roundabouts should have their ni***es stuck in a toaster.

🌟 Our first market back after our break will be Helensburgh Market in the Square this Saturday. We'll have a full stall including all your favourites, like Strawberry Tarts and Cinnamon Roll Sponge.

🌟 It won't include this Key Lime Pie though, cos it was too good and we scoffed the lot 😋

🌟 Seriously, just indicate. It's not hard. T***s.

26/05/2026

A bit of flower power on this hot summer's night 🔥 🌼 fans #

26/05/2026

I saw the picture below in a Coeliac group.

I think it perfectly illustrated the difference between a baker who makes some gluten-free stuff, and a coeliac safe baker.

Now don't get me wrong, the cakes look lovely.

But having GF and non-GF in the same display just shows a lack of understanding.

For a coeliac, gluten equals poison.

And that bit of paper in between them is doing absolutely nothing.

Imagine if someone with no dietary requirements went into a bakery and was told...

"Some of the cakes are fine, but some of the cakes have arsenic in them. But don't worry, there's a bit of paper down the middle."

Would they still buy anything?

Of course not.

Gluten-free, gluten-friendly, allergen-friendly, call it what you like.

If it's not coeliac safe, it's not worth the risk.

At Big Daft Cakes, we have a coeliac safe kitchen.

On top of that, all dairy-free, nut-free or egg-free cakes are made separately, cut separately on their own boards with their own knives, packed separately and served at markets with their own tongs.

We do everything possible to make sure you can enjoy your cakes risk free.

That is our commitment to you.

Because everyone should get to enjoy cake, no exceptions.