Big Daft Cakes

02/09/2026

🌟 I think it's safe to say that the winning options in the favourite new tart poll were....

1. Yer maw

2. Yer sister

😉

🌟 Actually, it was 'Peach and Raspberry' and 'Spiced Pear'.

🌟 I was gonna do a shortbread base for the peach melba one, like the strawberry tarts, but for the pear one I was thinking of baking it in a puff pastry nest like an individual tarte tatin.

🌟 What do we think? 🤔

02/09/2026

Don't get me wrong, I'm flattered by the invite.

But how the f**k am I supposed to get there? 🤣

01/09/2026

🌟 🎂 FREE CAKE 🎂 🌟

To celebrate that it's now September (how the f**k did that happen 😲), let's do another cheeky giveaway.

If you want to win a free traybake of your choice, collected from a market or delivered to your door free of charge, then simply like this post and comment down below "I am Spartacus".

Bonnie picked it, dont look at me 🤣

I'll let it run until Sunday 6th September at midnight, winner will be picked at random and announced on Monday 7th* 😃

Bonus prize! 🔥

If I pass 10,000 followers by the end of Sunday, I'll pick 🌟 2 WINNERS 🌟 , so if everyone shares this post, invites their friends and family to follow me, and gets those numbers up, you can double your chance of winning! 🥳

Good luck everyone! 👍
....

*Prize cannot be swapped for cash, back massages or pictures of my feet. My decision is final. Cheaters will be castrated. Don't believe the bots if they tell you that you've won. Your home is at risk if you do not keep up with repayments on your mortgage. Don't eat yellow snow. Never judge a book by it's cover. Unless the cover is naughty and the pages are stuck together. In that case, judge away. Winner will be picked by me randomly flicking through the comments, as last time there was like 700 entries and no f**king way am I typing out that many names again. Please gamble responsibly. Please drink responsibly. Please eat cake irresponsibly. All hail Coeliac Jesus ✝️

30/08/2026

All sold out at Chatelherault Market 🥳

30/08/2026

We are all set up at the beautiful country park in Hamilton for Chatelherault Market 😍

It's the two of us today, so if you wanna chat Bonnie up you'll need to be extra sneaky 😉

If you wanna chat me up, I'm sure there's an appropriate helpline 🤣

And if you just want cake..... fair enough 👌

29/08/2026

We are set up and ready to rock at

Helensburgh Market in the Square

and

The Gourock Farmers Market

29/08/2026

28/08/2026

Tomorrow you will find us at

Helensburgh Market in the Square

The Gourock Farmers Market

Sunday we are at Chatelherault Market

Desmond the Dairy Free Duck is having a week off, your guest host will be Optimus Prime.

The menu is:

Gluten free/Vegan/Soya free:

✨️Black Forest Sponge
✨️️Strawberry Tarts
✨️️Classic Empire Biscuits
✨️️Strawberry and Cream Empire Biscuits
✨️Banoffee Sponge
✨️Carrot Cake

Gluten Free/Dairy free/Soya Free:

✨️️Old School Sponge
✨️️Lemon Meringue Sponge
✨️️Cinnamon Roll Sponge
✨️️Victoria Sponge
✨️Blueberry and Lemon Sponge
✨️Lime and Coconut Sponge
✨️Raspberry and Vanilla Sponge
✨️Coffee and Chocolate Sponge

Gluten Free/Egg Free:

✨️️Classic Millionaire's Shortbread
✨️️Raspberry Ruffles
✨️Salted Caramel Millionaire's Shortbread
✨️Not a Mars Bar Krispie Cake
✨️️Caramel Tarts
🌟 "Rocky Horror" Road (Manager's special)

Gluten Free

✨️️Toffee Apple Crumble Blondies
✨️️Kinder Brownies
✨️️M&M Brownies
✨️️Chocolate Fudge Cake

27/08/2026

This won't be a name that many of you will recognise, but Peter Cullen has passed away.

He has been the voice of Optimus Prime, the hero of the Transformers cartoon, since 1984.

I wasn't a happy kid, undiagnosed ADHD and depression made me feel very lonely and different, but I could escape through my favourite show.

Robots from space that turned into cars and trucks and fought for justice and freedom for all.

I had the toys, the VHS tapes (Google that if you're under 30) and all the merch.

Optimus Prime was the definitive hero.

Kind, patient, loyal, forgiving, a true role model and father figure to every young boy in the 80's.

And Peter's performance, that warm, reassuring, strong but gentle voice, embodied everything about the character.

He was the goodest of good guys, made all the more symbolic when his opposite number turned into a literal handgun.

This character has been with me my entire life, as I still collect the toys and enjoy the media to this day.

Yesterday, with the passing of the incomparable Tim Curry, I lost a hero.

Today, this little boy lost his robot dad.

Rest in peace Peter, I love you ❤️