The George Street Journal

24/05/2026

As we come to the end of another gruelling semester, so too we come to another Let’s Get Rekt. Third-year law student Will Yuri-Ply is persevering yet again at trying to find “the love of his life” and “a partner to lead his law firm with”.

Last semester, his determined use of the ol’ faithful pickup line “I’m a future judge” landed him a record-breaking 18 rejections in 2 hours. This time, with an extra 0.2 on his GPA and another $8,000 in HECS debt, the hopeless romantic is trying to change it up.

While other party goers exchange Instagram handles, Will has now taken to something less confrontational for his fifth time round: business cards that tell a girl everything she needs to know.

“It’s revolutionary, really. I’ve got my name and GPA listed and then there’s a QR code on the back which takes them directly to my LinkedIn profile.” he said. “I can maximise consumer outreach by sliding them across tables and slipping them into pockets!”

Little does he know, women’s clothes don’t come with pockets.

“For some reason no one seems to see the potential in a young changemaker such as myself. It’s their loss anyway. I’m sure they’ll all come crawling back when they see me land my Big 6 clerkship. Ever heard of an Eagle Street Cowboy?”

Our correspondents spoke to one of his long time romantic casualties and this is what she had to say:

“Last time he bought me like five drinks… but if the margs keep getting me fu**ed up then who am I to say no? Best believe if he tries anything weird I’m bringing it up at his admission.”

Insiders suggest that Will is considering turning to the attractive (and humble) GSJ editor for advice on how to get some. But not even we know if he can be saved.

Will there be more to come? Will this creep get aired out on QUT Love Letters? Tune in next semester to find out.

10/05/2026

WHERE ARE THE CAMERAS: Last Friday, Canvas s**t itself.

Thousands of students were left in limbo without any way to access content during the School of Law’s worst wave of assessments we’ve seen since this time last semester.

When asked if this might actually be bad enough to warrant special consideration, a HiQ spokesperson told our correspondent to go f**k themselves, adding that students would instead need to obtain a stat-dec from one of the hackers and a 20-page report outlining all the work that they intended to complete during the half-day blackout.

For many people, the outage forced a hiatus from the degree and an opportunity to touch grass.

But for 19-year-old Ima Fale, it meant tragically postponing her long awaited academic comeback.

The contracts student reportedly spent the better part of the week informing mates, tutors, and her family group chat that she was preparing to “lock in” for her “winter arc”.

“I made a strategic move to ignore content for the past few weeks so I could devote my time to the assignments.” she said.

“Even a 5% redrafting task can be the difference between a 6 and a 7 in the long run.”

“Every assignment she’s submitted this semester has been during the 48 hour extension and that’s usually after our groupchat sends through the answers.” one insider corrected.

Eye-witnesses reported that after opening her laptop, ducking to the bathrooms, emptying her wallet at the Food Court, and booking a booth in the Lawbry, Fale was mere moments away from opening the week 3 module when disaster struck.

“The matrix keeps trying to hold me down,” she said whilst packing up to head to the Bot Bar. “But best believe the winter arc resumes the second Canvas comes back online.”

Despite being informed that Canvas went back up at roughly 3:30pm that same day, she insists the comeback must be postponed until next week minimum, “as the hackers intended.”

Likely not much more to come.

02/05/2026

LAW BALL THREAD 🔥🔥🔥 let’s get mooning

01/05/2026

26/04/2026

Preparations are in full swing this week for the annual Met Gala, but with the cost of a ticket totalling close to a law graduate’s HECS debt, it’s no wonder fashion icons across the globe have turned their eyes to Brisbane for a more ‘real world’ event: the QUTLS Law Ball.

Insiders are reporting that comparison between the two functions has left Hollywood “absolutely fu**ed”, confirming that two can play the game of obscure themes and insanely fast ticket sales.

Celebs on the Gala’s organisational committee include the likes of Sabrina Carpenter, Venus Williams and apparently Amazon’s Jeff Bezos (yes, I did my research for this article). Yet absolutely none of them have anything on the hotties on the QUTLS committee, and especially not the hundreds of attendees that will again be wearing the only suit they own.
Eager to learn more, our correspondents confronted some of the future attendees.

“I don’t wanna overdo it, the dress code still says formal.” said second-year Valley rat Dill Enwrong. “The theme should complement the outfit, not define it. That’s why I’m just gonna reuse the same suit I wore to Junior Moot. Year 11 semi-formal. Nan’s funeral. It’s called adaptability, and that’s the kind of buzzword you put on clerkship applications.”

Another guy, Tuck C. Dough, was asked about his suit’s evident lack of drycleaning despite it being stained by three law ball’s worth of drinks.

“Mate this isn’t some peasant Tarocash okay? I’m gift wrapped in Peter Jackson.” the 22-year-old said. “Drycleaning is for moot club wankers, and even if it wasn’t, I’m pretty sure alcohol is a disinfectant.”

Many are pointing out the Gala’s dress code of “fashion is art”, which is incredibly confusing and reminiscent of last year’s scenes of law students sloshed out over fallen tables.

The Law Ball’s theme however is brimming with potential for those who should have been taking a fashion degree at Kelvin Grove. Dubbed “Under the Full Moon,” this weekend is expected to showcase bold interpretations of the lunar cycle, which students have been able to experience plenty of during all-nighters through the recent assessment period.

Read more at thegeorgestreetjournal.com

12/04/2026

Attendance at an 8:00am guest lecture in the week before last hit a semester-record-low of 12 students, with many beginning to recognise them as the ethically and morally charged filler episodes of the law degree.

After the Canvas notification dropped that the Week 6 content would not be taken by the usual lecturer, LLB veteran Paige Turner darted out of the library to return to her Bot Bar revelry, resting assured of tomorrow morning’s sleep in.

“Yeah I’ve been around long enough to know they never examine anything from guest speakers, and I have absolutely no interest in any further learning.” the 20-year-old said. “I’m sure I can take a gander in week 13 to check if there’s anything worth having in my notes”.

Unfortunately for chumps like Paige, and the GSJ Editor himself, it just so happened that the guest lecturer in question was an exam-season oracle.

“We got to the fourth slide and she said ‘this would make a great exam question,’” recounted one student. “We assumed she was taking the p**s but it just kept going.”

Insiders report that by the end of the 90 minutes, students were able to copy down a ten page outline of likely exam questions and a verbatim script for the unit coordinator’s preferred version of ISSACs.

“It got to the point where she was just reading out a statement of law really slowly, multiple times.” another attendee confirmed.

The unprecedented information dump has triggered the launch of a cohort-wide trade operation, with those few attendees quickly assuming the role of black market merchants.

Graciously fitting us into his newly busy schedule of accepting bribes, our reporter was able to approach one of the ringleaders (who wished to remain anonymous for his safety) for comment.

Read more at thegeorgestreetjournal.com

29/03/2026

LOOK AT MY LAWYER DAWG, I’M GOING TO JAIL: After progressing to the semi-finals of the Junior Moot, first-year-hotshot Joshua Steels thought he was hot stuff. But as it turns out, the law library courtroom (R.I.P) wasn’t the only place he would end up dealing with the law.

After his tutorial ran late, the almost 19-year-old walked out to find a parking ticket on his s**tty MG3. The fine totalled a more than half a day’s work at his job as a junior-executive-super-duper-legal-administrative research-assistant.
However, instead of bending over backwards for Brisbane City Council, Steels knew there was only one thing to do.

In a statement to our reporter, the legal Einstein claimed that “It is my civic duty to challenge this outrageous and unconstitutional decision. I am left with no choice but to represent myself in our beautiful judicial system, as it is obviously the next step in my professional development as a future barrister”.

After crying “mistrial” following Council’s review process, he is set to appear in the Brisbane Magistrates Court next week. On what grounds? We do not know.

We reminded him that the legal fees for losing such a case would dwarf the original fine. In response, Steels asked what round of the Junior Moot our reporter got to, before waddling away in his Peter Jackson suit.

More to come.

15/03/2026

WHAT GOES AROUND COMES AROUND: It’s been a brutal wake up call for those starting back up at Gardens Point this semester, with renovations to the iconic stomping ground leaving many without a place to study.
Although LLB students have struggled accessing to the elusive business hours only library for generations, students like self-proclaimed future judge and “human rights advocate” Link Tin are calling this the last straw.
“So what if I can just walk around the back through the computer room?” the C-block purist said. “This impediment on our constitutionally implied right to contemporary seating and tiny courtrooms is an injustice too great to bear.”
“What’s the point in paying double everyone else’s tuition if I don’t get double the libraries?” another said.
Many of these unhoused academics have been forced to shirk their elitism and take refuge among the very people they once shunned: V-block povos.
It’s safe to say that the irony has not been lost on non-law students, with HiQ has reporting a spike in revenge-driven violence all over what used to be not-so-affectionately called “the main library”.
“The last time I was caught talking about the limbic system in the law library, they held me down and drew ISSAC’s on my forehead. Now they’ve come crawling back and I’m out for blood.” said fourth-year bio-med student Shelly Killaw.
Rumour has it that a band of law students hiding down on level 2 have taken to silent communication over canvas discussion boards for fear of retribution. Others are calling on dual degree students to speak out as envoys for peace between the factions.
Is this the end for degree-based classism? Or will forced proximity usher in a new age of harmony?
It’s too early to tell.
But for the first time in GSJ history, we actually will have more to come… eventually. When renovations are finished in semester two.

01/03/2026

DOZENS HELD CAPTIVE BY EXTREMIST EDUCATOR: We are coming to you live from what bystanders are calling an active hostage situation in level 3 of Z block.

The School of Law is reporting that during work on an exam style question in Jason Kruger’s 11am LLB102 tutorial, students were unable to name the fourth element of the false imprisonment tort. Following this, the tutor took matters into his own hands by providing a “practical demonstration”.

Eye-witnesses from outside the glass-walled room watched in horror as the dead-end 34 year old slid his strange podium/desk on wheels in front of the doorway to truly interfere with their liberty and restrain them in all directions. We do however note that aircon was left on because it’s Brisbane humidity and he’s “not a monster”.

“No one is leaving this room until someone can tell me the last element. You better believe I have lawful justification for doing this so good luck calling the cops on me you dips**t wannabe litigators!”

Despite passing all his psych evaluations during his QUT induction, it’s clear that the new Torts tutor has turned out to be a total nut-job. Not much is known about his prior history, other than the fact that he did his law degree at UQ. Our sources tell us that might be all you really need to know.

When asked by QUT Security what his demands were, Jason requested that his students do the required prep work for the classes that they pay almost $20,000 for annually.

With demands as unreasonable as that, it’s unclear if the hostages will be released anytime soon.

“Restriction of liberty is the only one that matters anyway: you can either get out or you can’t.” texted one victim from the inside. “I have a hot date at Merlo I’m supposed to be at right now.”

“I’m just glad he wasn’t teaching the elements of battery.” said another.

Others say that while archaic, the traumatic style of delivery has inspired them to review the textbooks and recordings for the tutorial questions instead of plugging them into ChatGPT.

While we can’t say just how much longer this standoff will continue, it can’t be too long before someone thinks to open the lecture slides for the answer.

More to come.

18/02/2026

By Alexander Curtis SPOILER ALERT: During O-week last year, this fine publication posted an article to the masses informing you all what the QUTLS had to offer in 2025 that was also in Suits. With …

14/11/2025

Who’s keen for Let’s Get Rekt? 👀