22/09/2026
Let’s talk about the fact that around 2040, Australia will reach peak death.
According to Dr Hannah Gould, who is a death scholar and author of the book How to Die in the 21st Century, this period will be a “boomergeddon” and she says that it brings with it a certain range of ideas about what a good death looks like.
“The overwhelming value of end-of-life decisions, particularly among the baby boomer population, is this value of right, autonomy and control,” she says.
For me, a “good death” comes after a life well lived, where we have done the best we can and are at peace with ourselves. If the actual death happens just the way we planned, that’s rare, but unless we plan for it, write down our wishes, have conversations with the people who matter to you about it, you have very little chance of having your wishes met. You don’t have to isolate yourself or be afraid of having these conversations, it certainly won’t hasten your death, it will relieve you of a huge amount of stress and add to your wellbeing.
Planning for your “golden years” from where you’d like to live in the last years of your life, such as a retirement community, a central apartment close to all facilities, or staying in your own home, are all personal choice. Not everyone has these choices of course, particularly if you have cognitive or physical impairment, or are without a home at all, but the majority do.
When it comes to planning your end-of-life phase, this comes with many variables.
If we’re faced with being told we have a terminal illness there are so many different types of treatments and all are dependent on the kind of illness, your general current health, etc, etc.
If your chosen treatments are no longer working and you’re looking at death being the only future, again, there are many options.
I always recommend that if you are told you have a terminal illness, get in touch with your local Palliative Care team.
People who access Palliative Care early have a better quality of life and studies show that they tend to live longer too. Having access to their knowledge and support can be a great relief.
Also, there are End of Life Doulas, or Death Doulas, Death Walker, or End of Life Workers, (people in this field like to use a “label” that better defines them, hence the variety of terms). These people provide non-medical end of life support to the person approaching their end of life as well as their families, and there are a number of these kind and compassionate people who make this their life’s work here on the South Coast of NSW.
This support can be practical, such as completing paperwork, advocating for their client with doctors, hospitals etc, and/or physical and spiritual support. Simply ‘being there’, during the last months of life, creating a beautiful and calming space to be in, providing a shoulder to cry on, looking after daily schedules for visitors and helpers, being there for discussions on any kind of subject their client chooses, being a friend.
There is also the choice of Voluntary Assisted Dying (VAD), which is certainly not for everyone, but I believe it is a blessing that we all now have that choice. End of Life Doulas can also help you navigate this process and help you make sure you don’t leave the organisation of this to the last minute, when it’s too late.
Dr Gould recommends one action that everyone should take immediately, even if you don’t plan on dying anytime soon.
“Know who your legal next of kin is,” she says. “If you have a problem with that person making your decisions, change that person. It often happens with young q***r people who maybe have a contentious relationship with their parents. And I say to them, ‘Well, if you were to die, it’s your mum and dad who will be organising the funeral.’ Or maybe it’s your ex-husband, because you’re still technically legally married.”
Gould thinks it’s important to advocate for our wishes – but also, of course, to communicate them. “It doesn’t have to be a big, scary conversation. It can be a Post-It note on the fridge.”
Or even better, you can appoint a trusted person as your Enduring Guardian at any time of your life and this will ensure the person you choose has the final say.
https://www.nsw.gov.au/family-and-relationships/planning-for-end-of-life/choose-enduring-guardian -about-enduring-guardianship
Part of your end-of-life planning usually involves planning for your funeral.
Tree of Life Funerals provide a variety of funeral styles and we ensure the funeral is personalised and crafted to be the way you choose it to be. One of our genuinely caring and compassionate people will come to you to guide you and/or your family through.
We can also recommend End of Life Doulas for you.
Certainly, there’s no need to hold a full funeral service, you can choose the “just cremate me” or “just bury me in a natural burial ground and plant a tree over me”, or you can have a vigil service without any fanfare, a simple service with close family and friends, or a full service with the wider community attending. All of these choices are yours. A memorial service can be held at a later time.
There’s no need to pay a fortune for a coffin or casket either. Keeping things simple, more eco-friendly, yet beautiful, is kinder to your budget, to your family, and to the environment.
You can call Tree of Life Funerals on 0493-276-554 or our partner, Picaluna Beautiful Funerals on (02) 4412-9228 for all your funeral and end of life needs.
www.treeoflifefunerals.com.au
The experienced team at Tree of Life Funerals are here for you at your time of need, providing personal, caring, and individual attention, from Batemans Bay to Narooma.Our personalised and heart-felt funerals, with caring and compassionate people leading the way, are created with love and care, trul...
