Eat My Sass Desserts

Eat My Sass Desserts Eat My Sass 🍒
Midwest-based menace slingin’ sinful sweets from my kitchen to your cravings. Shipping chaos nationwide. Frosted. Feral. F*cking fabulous.

Food truck dreams loading… just like my emotional stability. DM me before I ghost you.

07/30/2025

Sooo the launch got pushed to August 15th. Why? Because life said “you know what would be fun? A breakdown!”
But for now?

Here’s the Eat My Sass lineup — four dangerously delicious treats and one mystery flavor I’m legally not ready to talk about:

🍓 Berry Petty -A lemon blondie with white chocolate strawberry drizzle and strawberry magic dust. She’s sweet, tangy, and 100% showing up to brunch just to make passive-aggressive comments about your ex. You’ll eat three and then text someone you shouldn’t.

☕ Caffeine, Chaos, Repeat - A dark, fudgy espresso brownie that hits harder than your third cold brew after crying in the work bathroom. She’s bold, dramatic, and fully committed to keeping you up all night overthinking that one thing you said in 2017.

🍎 Sweater Weather Psycho - A cinnamon apple cider cookie that smells like a candle and bites like a Scorpio. She’s warm, spiced, and emotionally unavailable—but still wants to cuddle and ruin your fall.

🥥 Certified Flake - A coconut caramel cookie with bittersweet chocolate drizzle. She’s sweet, messy, probably ghosted you, and yet somehow you’re still obsessed. Basically a snack with commitment issues.

❓ Plus one mystery flavor. She’s coming August 15th. She’s giving “cozy, unhinged, and slightly witchy.” You’ll know her when you taste her.

Mark your calendars, babe. These cookies are ready to cause problems on purpose.Set alarms. Warn your group chat. Eat. My. Sass. Aug 15 💋

07/28/2025

🎤 “I’m not petty, I’m just emotionally constipated.” — Berry Petty, the dessert that’s seen your receipts and isn’t sorry about it.

She’s a lemon blondie with white chocolate strawberry drizzle and enough strawberry sugar to cancel your whole mood — plus your texts, your plans, and maybe your self-respect. 🍋🍓

She’s sweet, but like… don’t ask her how she’s really doing unless you want a three-hour passive-aggressive rant with zero follow-up.

Dropping July 30 with the full Eat My Sass launch.

Warning: May cause intense side-eye and sudden urges to block people.

In 3 days, the dessert drama begins.Act I: You fall in love. 🍪🎭
07/28/2025

In 3 days, the dessert drama begins.
Act I: You fall in love. 🍪🎭

4 days ‘til Eat My Sass drops… and it’s giving late-summer fling with a fall situationship on the side 🍋🍓🍂Zesty, juicy, ...
07/26/2025

4 days ‘til Eat My Sass drops… and it’s giving late-summer fling with a fall situationship on the side 🍋🍓🍂
Zesty, juicy, and just the right amount of unhinged — with one cozy little treat that tastes like cuddling in a hoodie you definitely stole.
You’ll catch feelings. You’ll pretend it’s casual. You’ll order again. 💋
Tell your cravings I said hi.

OKAY. It’s real.In 5 days, my unhinged dessert baby Eat My Sass finally drops 😭💅We’re talkin’:🍫 2 brownies (for when lif...
07/25/2025

OKAY. It’s real.
In 5 days, my unhinged dessert baby Eat My Sass finally drops 😭💅

We’re talkin’:
🍫 2 brownies (for when life’s a mess and so are you)
🍪 2 cookies (sweet, sassy, and probably judging you)
❓ 4 secret flavors (more mysterious than your ex on “read”)

She’s giving end-of-summer chaos with a fall mood swing and I’ve never been prouder.
These thicc little treats are dramatic, delicious, and not here to play nice.

📦 Dropping July 30. They ship. They slap. You need them.
👇 The pics? That’s the lineup. Say their names like you’re hexing your ex with sugar.

P.S. Sharing is for people with boundaries.
P.P.S. No calories if you eat it standing over the sink in silence.

07/22/2025

💖 DESSERT SPOILER INCOMING 💖She’s bold. She’s sour. And she’s not over it.

Introducing Berry Petty — a lemon-strawberry blondie bursting with juicy sass and just enough tartness to make your taste buds do a double take. 🍋🍓

This little diva is part of the Eat My Sass launch lineup, dropping July 30!

✨ Freezer-stable
📬 Shippable nationwide
⚠️ Not responsible for petty behavior after consumption

Tag your most dramatic friend — they’ll need this in their life. 😘

07/20/2025

Sweet? Sure. Innocent? Never.Catch the clues, stay tuned, and don’t flinch—she drops 7.30 💋 ゚viralシfypシ゚

🥵🧁 LOGO DROP, BABY! 🧁🥵She’s bold. She’s frosted. And she just served a cease and desist to your bland-ass banana bread (...
07/15/2025

🥵🧁 LOGO DROP, BABY! 🧁🥵
She’s bold. She’s frosted. And she just served a cease and desist to your bland-ass banana bread (and possibly your therapist).

Meet the new face of Eat My Sass Desserts — where the kitchen’s messier than your love life and the drama is thicker than our frosting.

We’ve got:
✨ Cupcakes with more commitment issues than your last three relationships
✨ Cookies that ghost harder than your ex after “We need to talk”
✨ Brownies so thicc they snap spatulas and crush dreams

This logo didn’t come to play nice — it came to steal your grandma’s recipes, roast your baking skills, and throw shade like a summer day in July.

Sweet. Spiteful. Slightly unhinged. Basically your new therapist, but with better snacks.


🚨 Sweet tooth warning: These cupcakes don’t just serve dessert — they serve attitude.🔥 Sin & Spice: This cinnamon apple ...
07/15/2025

🚨 Sweet tooth warning: These cupcakes don’t just serve dessert — they serve attitude.

🔥 Sin & Spice: This cinnamon apple baddie is packed with caramelized Granny Smiths and topped with buttercream so sinful it should come with a safe word. Drizzled in sticky caramel and crowned with a caramel lollipop because subtlety is for amateurs.

🍒 Scoop, There It Is: A vanilla bean knockout with whipped mousse fluffier than your situationship’s promises. Drenched in chocolate ganache, blasted with sprinkles, and topped with a cherry that knows it’s the main character.

💅 Together, they’re not here to play nice — they’re here to slay taste buds and wreck diets.

Eat My Sass — where dessert comes with a side of “don’t come for me.”

(These were for a carnival themed party! DM me for inquiries regarding ANY event and we will make sure the desserts aren’t your average Walmart last minute go around.) 😉


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Maumee, OH
43537

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