10/02/2026
So the Jacksonville Jaguars got a golden retriever named River… and MY River has a few thoughts. 🐾😂
“Another golden retriever named River? I’m flattered, Jaguars. Apparently, your scouts have excellent taste.
Just remember, I’m the ORIGINAL River. I’ve been supporting my mom for years with snuggles, belly-rub appointments, and a strict ‘keep one paw on her at all times’ policy.
And by the way, I’ve already attended the ribbon cutting and grand opening of the new marina AND been in the photo shoot. So I’m no stranger to the Pup-arazzi. 📸🐾
He can have the stadium. I’ve got the boat, the beach, and my own grandkids cheering for me. And with my mom being Lisa the Boatanista, you KNOW I’m all things boating! I’m basically her first mate with better hair. 😂🐶
I can even arrive at the Jags game BY BOAT for a little boatgating. A dog named River should make an entrance on the river. 🛥️🏈
But if he needs help learning to retrieve… I’m available. My fee is belly rubs. 💛
Will the REAL River please stand up? Actually, never mind. I’m comfortable on the couch.”
Two Rivers. Lots of love. GO DUUUVAL! 🐶🏈