09/01/2026
Talk About It Tuesday: Reciprocity in Friendship
One of the most important ingredients in friendship is reciprocity.
Because when reciprocity is missing, friendship stops feeling safe.
You start asking yourself questions you shouldn’t have to ask all the time:
Do they value me the way I value them?
Would they show up for me the way I show up for them?
If I stopped reaching out, would we even have a friendship?
And that kind of uncertainty is exhausting.
Friendship was never meant to be one person constantly pouring while the other person simply holds out their cup.
But before you start taking inventory of everything your friend isn’t doing, do something harder: check yourself first.
How do you show up?
Do you initiate? Do you check in? Do you celebrate them? Do you make space for their hard days—or only expect them to make space for yours?
Sometimes the friendship is unbalanced because of them.
And sometimes… we’re the imbalance.
Healthy friendship isn’t about keeping score or making sure everything is 50/50 every single day. Life happens. Sometimes one person will need more. But over time, there should be a mutual exchange of care, effort, consideration, support and presence.
The goal isn’t to keep score.
The goal is to make sure we’re filling EACH OTHER’S cup. 🦋
