14/08/2021
It’s difficult, but we must practice non-attachment. And it’s funny coming from me, because I get easily attached to the smallest of things—from a movie ticket to a hand-written note. But these things hold memories, like little time capsules that bring us back, allowing us to relive a less potent incarnation of a treasured moment. So that’s fine.
It’s different with people.
Nothing can guarantee that anyone will stay—not family, not a solid friendship, not a label, not a work contract, not even marriage.
Practicing non-attachment can help let go of the anxiety that comes with the need to control outcomes. So that way our actions are less dictated by fear, doing things just so they don’t leave, and instead come from a more sincere and loving place, doing things for them simply because we care.
Non-attachment doesn’t mean indifference or not caring at all. It just means you accept that you don’t have control over what someone else does, which helps you focus more on what’s going on in the present, and to enjoy it for what it is without the anxiety of what’s going to happen tomorrow.
As someone who thrives in security, the realization of “no guarantee” hit me like a ton of bricks. I love the feeling of being claimed, of belonging, of knowing for absolutely sure. Reciprocity is beautiful. But as I have been shown many times before since my parents’ marriage ended when I was a teenager, there is no guarantee that people will stay. They will leave when they want to leave.
But that also means there is no guarantee that they 𝙬𝙞𝙡𝙡 leave. People will stay when they want to stay. And I have been shown this many times before, as well ♥️
I’m not very good at non-attachment just yet, but I understand the concept. And as I learn, the best I can do is just be a safe space for the people in my life—if we want to be loved, we must first be love. If you want them to stay, the only thing to do is to show them that you will, and maybe they might do the same.
So live in the present, be thankful for every wonderful interaction, save each moment like you save trinkets and notes. If they go, say thank you for the time. And if they stay, then that’s great. Thank you ✨
