02/10/2023
If you’re reading this right now it means that you are seeing me at the beginning of my new life. A new life that I’m actively seeking out. To be honest, it’s mostly just my old life with a few tweaks, but I’m taking things in a new direction.
I just got out of hospital, after a one month stint after an incident where I nearly died (my own fault), and whilst I was in there I had had an epiphany…. that I don’t want to live in this miserable cycle that I have been in anymore. I want to chase my dreams and goals, focus on the positive in my life (because there really is so much), instead of focusing on the negative, relish in the little moments of magic that occur on a daily basis, from the kind smile of a stranger, to dressing up for no reason but to just have fun, marvelling at the flowers, or the pavement just after it’s rained and the suns come out, and capture those moments, reminding myself that life is in fact worth living.
I’m starting this page not only as a daily reminder of all of the great things in this life, but also keep me accountable, that rock bottom doesn’t need to happen to live like this, I’m choosing from now on to wake up every day and choose happiness, I’m choosing to live.
I know there will be hard days, and that’s ok. S**t happens, and it’s ok to be sad. But I have been wallowing in sadness for years, my daily uniform; leggings and a hoodie (this applied to winter, spring, autumn AND summer). Self care went out the window, I gained 25kgs, numbing my pain instead of dealing with it, and all my goals for the future had ceased.
As they say, I’m ready to “grab life by the balls” 😂, I want to remind myself of the beautiful things in my life, I want a magical, sparkling, fresh start, to make my dreams come true, gratitude for what I have and get up and start doing the best for myself and others.